My Anchor
by Liv-and-Love
Summary: Alex is given a job offer she can't refuse, but it involves a drastic move. How do you choose between the oppurtuniy of a lifetime and your girlfriend and the son that you love? Is there even a choice? A/O
1. Chapter 1: Good Morning My Superhero

**Title: My Anchor**

**Story Summary:** Alex is given a job offer she can't refuse, but it involves a drastic move. How do you choose between the opportunity of a lifetime and the family that you love dearly? Is there even a choice to be made? Alex's and Olivia's relationship is put to the test. How do they deal with the possible move, and how does it affect their three year old son Riley?

**Background Info:** This is my sequel to Blind Run; it's not necessary that you read it first, but makes a little more sense. Summary of Blind Run: Alex comes back to work an international pedophile case with Liv after a year abroad spent in Africa, Bosnia, and London. Did I mention . . . she's pregnant! Baby daddy doesn't want the responsibility of a child, but wouldn't mind seeing him every once in a while. Then there was the ex-girlfriend who isn't sure she wants to give Alex up to Olivia. The two of them have been living together for the past three and a half years and have been raising a son together (Who happens to have both of their last names).

**Chapter 1: Good Morning My Superhero **

A low, playful growl that could only come from a three year old little boy, rumbled through the hallway, "Mommaaaaaa!" Riley came running from his bedroom with his blanket wrapped over his head and grasped tightly under his chin as he yelled. His 'cape' flapped behind him, creating a whooshing noise as he darted into the kitchen.

Olivia set her freshly poured cup of coffee down on the counter. A bright smile flashed across her face as she bent down to welcome him into her arms, "Good morning my little super hero!" Olivia pretended to examine the cape as she looked over her son still dressed in his racecar pajamas. "Who are you headed off to save today?"

A tooth filled grin crossed his face, and his eyes got big as he relayed what his plans for the day were going to be. He got so excited that he started jumping and waving his arms around, and dropped his blanket onto the floor. "I'm gonna go to school and when the bell rings, I'll know that mommy needs my help. SO, I'll fly to the courthouse, like this!" He spread his arms out and let his lips make an airplane noise as he 'flew' around their kitchen table. "Then, I'll get my sword and tell the bad guy that he has to go to jail, 'cause that's where he belongs." Riley got out his make-believe sword and jutted it toward Olivia, "hi-ya."

Olivia laughed at the vivid imagination and energy their son had. He was always making up stories and he loved playing the good guy. Already he was as fearless as Olivia and as analytical as Alex, making him into one special little boy. She pulled him into her arms and stood up with him, hugging him tightly and placed a gentle kiss on top of his unruly brunette head of hair. "I love you so much kid."

Riley pulled back and planted a kiss on Olivia's lips and made a smooching sound as he did. "I love you too momma."

Olivia set Riley back down on the floor. "Let's go get you dressed."

"OK!" Riley said and then took off back in the direction of his bedroom.

Olivia bent down to pick up the fallen blanket-cape and when she stood back up, the image that stood in front of her took her breath away.

Alex came out of their bedroom wearing a dark black pencil skirt that hung just below her knees. Her top was a deep silky green with a figure flattering outline. The arms of her shirt cinched right above her elbows and billowed as she walked. She wore tall, black, sling back heels. Her blonde hair hung straight past her shoulders and her glasses sat atop her face. She was hooking her second earring through her ear as she spoke to Liv, "How do I look?"

Olivia cocked her head to the side as she admired her girlfriend of three and a half years. She never got tired of the sight of her all dressed and ready for a big day at the courthouse. Of course, she'd much rather see a lot less clothes on her body, in fact none being the perfect amount, but alas they did have to work.

"You look amazing." Olivia said as she stepped in closer to Alex, pulling their hips together and placing her forehead on Alex's.

Alex felt a slight blush creep into her cheeks. Olivia could read her so easily; she could tell how nervous Alex had gotten over the meeting today. Liv's comment brought a rush of peace back over her, and it settled in her cheeks, a tell tale sign of worry but comfort. The looks of her lover were always welcomed. She felt safe, anchored, around Olivia and knew she would be able to take on anything that day.

"Thank you," Alex half whispered, half mouthed to Olivia.

Olivia brought her lips over Alex's and they kissed in a warm surrender. When Liv pulled back, she whispered into Alex's ear, "Anytime."

"You kissing," a tender tease came from the mouth of the toddler that had snuck up on them. His shirt was on backwards and his jeans hung unzipped and low on his waist. Riley's hair stuck up on one side, the side he had been sleeping on no doubt.

Alex smiled and leaned down to give Riley a peck on the cheek, "That's because we love each other." She gave him another short kiss on the lips, "And I love you." She stood back up and placed her hand over his head, ruffling his hair playfully.

Riley rolled his eyes and darted out from underneath her, "I know mommy."

Olivia squatted down once again and lifted Riley's arms out of his shirt so she could turn it around and then buttoned his jeans. As she did this, she spoke to Alex, "Riley said he's going to swoop in and save you from the courthouse today."

Alex made her way into their kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee into a to-go mug. "Is that so?"

Riley nodded his head eagerly in agreement.

"I shall await your rescue," Alex said and then took a sip of her coffee.

Olivia went back into their bedroom and strapped on her badge and gun. Having a child changed her in more ways than one, but she continued her work with SVU. If anything, it made her a better cop. The sometimes long and random hours in correlation with Alex's high profile and demanding job had forced the two to hire a nanny who was on call 24 hours a day. Although they both made it home most nights, there was occasionally a case that required around the clock attention. On those days, Anna their nanny watched after Riley.

Alex took a brush and some gel to Riley's hair and then tied his sneakers on his feet.

After Liv came back into the room, she grabbed the lunch she had made for Riley earlier that morning and slipped on her jacket. "Ready for preschool?" Olivia asked Riley.

"Yep!" He shouted and jumped up and down as he grabbed Alex's hand.

Alex took his hand in hers and flipped her hair off her shoulders. She smoothed down her skirt and wiped away any particle that tried to cling to it.

Olivia stood in front of Alex and watched as she nervously primped herself for the day. "You're going to do great today," Liv reassured her.

Alex let out a deep sigh. "I sure hope you're right." She had been preparing this case for the past six months for the International Criminal Court and was presenting it today. The ICC held a meeting once a year, either in New York or in the Netherlands and this year it happened to be New York.

Olivia leaned in and planted another kiss on Alex's lips and then said, "I know I'm right."

A playful and newly confident smile formed as Alex grinned.

As if on cue, Alex felt an impatient tug on her arm. "Mommy, let's go!" insisted Riley.

At that, the three of them headed out their apartment door. Olivia drove Riley to preschool and then headed off to the precinct while Alex headed off to the ICC to present her case to the board.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

**A/N: Reviews always loved! Let me know what yall think, anyone interested? **


	2. Chapter 2: An Adventure Awaits

Chapter 2: An Adventure Awaits

**A/N: So, seeing as I am a fiction writer and not a journalist or an investigator, I took some (ok, a lot lol) of liberties in the proceedings of such a court. **

Alex walked along the corridor toward the meeting room. Her stride was confident and self-assured. She had been preparing for this for the past six months and she knew this case like the back of her hand.

After having spent a few months in the Congo, she knew firsthand the degree to which these particularly repugnant crimes against humanity had escalated. In fact, she had met with some of the survivors of the raid against Djambala. It sent shivers up her spine and a new torrent of righteous anger filled her.

The attempted conviction of the leader of the gorilla militia had failed. Yet this time she held the key to success. This trial would not be held in the greedy motherland, where bribes took precedence over the law. No, this time court was being held in the ICC building in The Hauge, Netherlands.

The International Criminal Court had indicted over twenty men since its opening back in 2001. Since then, only two convictions had been achieved. And of those two, one man had been murdered in prison while the other's case had been dismissed. This was the cruel statistic. Five men awaited trial for crimes committed during war; and Alex was determined to add one more to the list.

Alex held the power to sway the ICC in favor of the indictment of one of the leaders, a lieutenant, in the Republic of Congo's rebel militia. She opened the door into the meeting room and strode to her position at the table. She sat her briefcase down and began preparing her files. As she did, various members of the council came in and introduced themselves.

The president of the court, a South Korean lawyer, sat at the head of the table. Next to him sat the vice president of the court. She was a Malian lawyer and judge, elected so back in 2003. Men and women from the council filed into the room. If anyone had the power to put away one of the cruelest war criminals of the decade, it would be one of the people at this table. Even Judge Elizabeth Donnelly had somehow managed to get in on this case and Lord knows she's one to be reckoned with.

Alex looked around the room, at the incredibly powerful group of officials and thought to herself, _this is what I've worked so hard for. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. _If she could persuade the court to indict this man, she'd be the one that helped put away a serial rapist and war criminal. Although the chief prosecutor was the one that would actually put him away, without Alex, their case would be extremely lackluster.

She'd seen the horror that his men could inflict, and she couldn't shake it. The second night she'd been in the Congo, she'd run into a little girl who'd had her right arm hacked off with a machete. After they'd amputated her arm, they raped her so many times that she lost count. Now, Alex often awoken in the middle of the night in a cold sweat dreaming of that little girl's face. She'd never shared that dream with Olivia; instead she kept them buried in her own mind.

Nevertheless, on those nights, Olivia had been there. She'd woken up with her and she'd lull her back into sleep through her gentle manner of whispered affection and assurance. Alex would fall asleep in her girlfriend's arms feeling protected for the night. Yet, as she lay there, wrapped securely in Liv's embrace, she couldn't help but picture the faces of some of the other women she'd seen. And she knew that they weren't sleeping safely that night.

If she could put away this man, then perhaps those women would be able to sleep better at night; perhaps she would be able to sleep better at night. It wouldn't change what had happened, but it was one small step - one small step to stopping the act of rape as a scare tactic in war. If she could help put him away, then perhaps it would assuage her guilt. She had let them down once, but not this time.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Olivia slammed the door to the interview room behind her with a smug grin across her face. "That play gets 'em every time," she said.

Cragen stood at the window with his hands in his pockets. "It looks like a slam dunk," he said and then walked with Olivia back into the bullpen. "Good work detective," he called over his shoulder as he headed toward his office.

She nodded her head in thanks as she sat down at her desk.

Officers escorted the perp out of the back room and took him off toward central booking.

Liv began typing up her report. They had obtained incriminating evidence earlier that morning while performing a search warrant in the perp's apartment. He had several DVDs hidden in a floorboard and it was only by happenstance that the detectives found it. It hadn't taken her long to squeeze out any remaining information she needed from him.

It was days like these that made her proud of what she worked so hard for. Of course, there were days that seemed to rip out her insides and take a bit of her sole with them. Those were the worst cases to work. Having a child amplified those horrors even more, especially when they involved young children. But today a rapist was headed to prison, and there would be justice and peace of mind for the victims.

Liv could see it in their eyes, the hurt that each predator caused. She felt it too, and it made her all the more proud each time one was sent to prison.

Elliot glanced up from his paperwork. "So how's my little man?" he asked.

"Riley?" Liv glanced up from her report. "He's doing great. Actually, he's been bugging me about visiting the station again. He wants to see his uncle Elliot."

Elliot beamed. He loved Riley like any uncle and so he bore the title proudly. "Is that so?" he asked. He looked down at his almost complete paperwork and then at the clock. It was getting close to five and there was nothing else pressing that needed to be done. "Well, why don't you bring him over to my house for the evening and Kathy and I will watch him. You and Alex can go out on a date, and Eli and Riley can play together."

"That's really sweet of you El, but I don't want to be a burden . . ." Olivia began but got interrupted.

Elliot leaned over his desk. "Liv, stop. You and Alex rarely get a night out. Go celebrate her victory . . . or if she didn't manage to get that indictment, then go take her mind off of it."

Olivia looked at him uncertainly. He was right, the two of them rarely got to go out on date and she was all finished for the day. "What about you and Kathy? Wouldn't you guys like to get out?"

Elliot raised his brow and nodded. "Yeah, well, we still got three kids at home. A peaceful night in is all I really want." He shrugged. "Eli has been wanting to play with Riles again. He'll keep him entertained."

Olivia pursed her lips in a grin. "Ok, we'll bring him over on our way out." She looked down at her watch. "I expect a call from Alex soon and I'll know how the meeting went."

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

The meeting had lasted all morning and into the better half of the evening. Alex had presented her case first, followed by a few more ICC members. The meeting was coming to a close and the council members were taking a vote on the indictment.

After a long discussion, the members decided that they did have enough evidence to prosecute the lieutenant; and they would have him indicted and brought to The Hague by the beginning of the next week.

Alex began packing her briefcase; a radiant smile was plastered across her face.

Then the president of the court walked up to her. His accent was thick, but his English was very good. She stopped at his approach. He grinned at her and began speaking, "You have laid before us an incredible case against the defendant Ms. Cabot."

"Thank you sir, I was just doing my job," Alex said.

Then the vice president walked up to join them. She gave the president a knowing nod. "We have been speaking to the other members about you, and it seems we are all very impressed by your work."

The high compliments made Alex grin from ear to ear. Unable to control her giddiness, she did an almost imperceptible bounce on her toes. She laughed at herself as she did that because it reminded her of her son and how he seemed to bounce and jump at literally everything that excited him.

Somewhere in the background, Judge Donnelly saw the exchange taking place. She stood back and watched amused.

The president of the court continued his accolade, "We have been admiring your work for some time, and we have seen the enthusiasm and dedication from which you work . . ."

"What we're trying to say," the VP interjected, "is that we would be honored if you would be the chief prosecutor on this case."

For the moment, Alex was stunned into silence. The position was highly sought after; and very high profile- an honor indeed. However, the catch to taking this job was that it would involve a move. One that she wasn't sure Olivia would want to make. "Thank you for the offer, but I will have to get back with you on that."

The president looked at her quizzically. "Is this not what you want?"

Alex frantically waved her hands back and forth. "Oh no, that's not what I meant at all." She regained her composure, "I just need to talk with my girlfriend about the move, and what we'd do with our son."

He eyed her suspiciously and then looked over at the VP with that judging look in his eyes.

_Well, apparently not everyone has caught up to the times. _Alex thought.

Elizabeth stepped in at that precise moment, before Alex went out on a tirade. She stepped next to Alex, and spoke on her behalf, "She will have an answer for you by the end of the week."

The president and the vice president seemed to accept that answer and then strode out of the room.

Donnelly turned to face Alex and spoke to her, "You could have kept that little tid-bit to yourself."

"Why?" A now wound up Alex said, "Who are they to critique the way I live. Furthermore, how is it any different from their lives?"

The judge put up a hand to silence Alex's ranting. "They judge for a living my dear. Now, go home and discuss the offer with your girlfriend. Let me know what you decide. It would be rather nice to see a familiar face." The judge grinned as she revealed the secret she had kept the whole meeting.

Alex looked at her astonished. "They asked you to judge the case?"

Elizabeth nodded her head, "They did indeed, and I accepted."

Alex bit her bottom lip. Her struggle was evident.

Elizabeth grabbed Alex's shoulder to bring her back to reality. "This is the opportunity of a lifetime Alex; an adventure awaits."

**A/N: Thoughts or comments anyone? Will Liv want to leave everything behind and go with Alex? And what happens with little Riley Benson-Cabot if Olivia doesn't go? **


	3. Chapter 3: Tell Me What you Want to Hear

Chapter 3: Tell Me What You Want to Hear

**A/N: for this chapter, if you haven't read Blind Run, then it's important that you know Alex gave birth to Riley. It's not mentioned, but Olivia hasn't formally adopted Riley since it's not the easiest thing to do in New York. However, Riley does have her last name too, since you can put whatever name you want on the birth certificate (or at least, that's what I've read).**

It was closer to six when Olivia arrived at Elliot's door with Riley. Riley knocked on the door three times and waited patiently. His blue eyes twinkled as he bounced in anticipation.

Kathy answered the door and Eli peaked out from behind her legs.

Riley didn't wait for an invitation to run into the house and dash up the stairs with Eli. They were like family to him after all.

"Would you like to come in?" Kathy offered.

"No thanks, I'm supposed to be meeting Alex at the restaurant right now. She didn't get out of the meeting until a few minutes ago," Olivia said as she looked down at her watch.

Kathy stood at the doorway, propping it open with her back. She crossed her arms, "Did she tell you how it went?"

"No, but by the inflection in her voice, I assume it went well." Olivia began to walk back to her car, but not before she added her thanks and gratitude toward Kathy.

Kathy gave a short wave to Olivia and then closed the door behind her.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Olivia arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes later to find Alex already seated with a satisfied smile across her face. Olivia joined her at the round table made for two. A short candle flickered between them, and the waitress quickly came and poured a glass of merlot for Olivia.

Alex waited for Olivia to get settled in and to take a sip of her wine before she shared her news.

"Well?" Liv pleaded with Alex, "how'd it go?"

Unable to contain herself any longer, Alex practically blurted out, "they accepted the indictment!"

"Wow Alex, that's great."

"Furthermore, they've asked me to preside over the case as chief prosecutor," Alex continued, clearly proud of her achievements, but there was a rushed tone to the next part of her statement, "It would mean a move, but nothing we couldn't handle together. Of course, I told them I'd have to talk to you first, but . . ."

"A move?" Olivia cut Alex off. It wasn't that she wasn't extremely proud of Alex. She was ecstatic about the news actually, but a move caught her completely off guard, and that Alex had tried to brush right past it. They both new that in Alex's line of work, travel was intermittently required; and when it was, Olivia was more than glad to support her. Sure Alex had mentioned that she wanted to talk to her first, but she'd also implied that Liv would go.

Then again, perhaps she had jumped to conclusions. She adjusted her tone to one more suited for a civil discussion, "What kind of move are we talking about?" Liv asked.

"Well, this case has to be tried at the ICC building in Holland," Alex blinked and stated matter of factly, "Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't think of you first. That's why I'm here now, asking you your opinion."

Liv looked down at her rolled up napkin and absent mindedly pulled it out, revealing the utensils and placed the napkin in her lap. She really didn't want to get into it with Alex, especially not after an impressive win on her part, but _Holland?_ This was not only Alex's life they were talking about. So, she cautiously broached the subject, "are you asking?" Olivia looked up to meet Alex's eyes, "Or have you already decided?"

"If you're implying that I can't act or think independently, then you're wrong. I think I have the right to decide what is best for my life." Alex knew it was uncharacteristic of her to respond to Olivia in an angry fashion. She could quell a rowdy defendant, a pompous lawyer, and anyone else that dared to cross her with her sharp tongue, but she never used it on Olivia or Riley for that matter.

Before Olivia could reply, the waitress again arrived at their table ready to take their order. Alex and Olivia both ordered and then handed over the menu. They hadn't needed much time to look it over, for they frequented this restaurant as often as they could, and so their order came second naturedly.

After the order, Alex had calmed down significantly, but was still wound tightly for reasons unbeknownst to Olivia.

Olivia again decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. "You know, I'm sure I could get a few months off. It might not be such a bad idea."

Alex bit her bottom lip and looked down at the half empty wine glass in front of her. She picked it up and swirled it around. "I'm sorry; I guess I just presumed you would go with me." She looked back up at Olivia. "This case won't be won in the matter of months. In fact, it may not even be won at all," a certain look of defeat simultaneously laced with determination crossed her face and she spoke again, "but it's my job to speak for these victims now." Her voice was heavier, laden with anger even. "I have to do this Liv. I thought you of all people would support that."

"I do Alex. I support you one hundred percent." Olivia searched Alex's eyes, "but it's not just your life we're talking about here. I have a job _here. _I can't just leave everything I've worked so hard for." Olivia was trying to remain level headed, but she could feel the heat rising into her cheeks. "And what do you mean by 'me of all people'?"

"What do you think?" Alex was getting extremely flustered, and her voice rose above what was expected at a nice restaurant. "Damn Liv, you're a walking poster board for victims! Your own mother was raped; you grew up knowing what it was like to be discarded and unloved. Hell, you work with special victim's everyday just trying to redeem yourself."

Olivia's eyes bore into Alex's and she threw her napkin on the table as she got up from her chair. She stormed out of the restaurant and the chilly air in her face was a welcome blast.

Alex threw a wad of cash on the table; enough to cover the un-delivered meal and drinks, and stormed out the front door after Olivia. Quickly she caught up and tried to apologize, but Olivia was already back in her face.

"You have no right to throw my past in my face like that Alex!" Olivia yelled. She stepped back and her face portrayed the hurt that Alex's words had inflicted. "Yes I know what it's like to grow up as the reminder of the worst event that ever happened in someone's life. You think I don't know that?"

Alex shifted on her feet, "I'm sorry Liv, I . . ."

Liv's eyes glistened with disdain as she continued, "All I ever wanted was a family that loved me for me. I got that with you and Riley. I have that here." Olivia still didn't let Alex finish her sentence, but her voice lowered as she tried to regain a measure of composure, "I'm sure the victims overseas need your help, but did you even stop to think about us? What about Riley . . . Did you even THINK about him?"

"What about him?" Alex shot back angry once again. "You think I didn't think about him when trying to decide? He is MY family. I'm his REAL mother Olivia, ME, not YOU," she said pointedly and hurtfully, "and anywhere I go, he goes." The threat in her voice was unmasked.

Olivia's voice was now laced with tension as she roared, "that was too far Alex." Riley was just as much Olivia's as he belonged to Alex. Now irrevocably angry, Liv shot back, "You think that just because you gave birth to him that makes you a better mother?" Olivia threw her hands up in the air and jutted her jaw out to the side, now ready to throw out her own blow "Well I got news for you, getting pregnant by some rebound guy doesn't make you a good mom." Olivia turned to walk away before she said anything else that she'd end up regretting.

Alex clenched her jaw, Olivia never brought up the circumstances surrounding Riley's conception but perhaps she deserved it after her comment. Still, it wounded her more than she dared mention, so she called after her, "You have no legal standing with him you know." She knew that threat only came from a place of being hurt, but nonetheless, it was out now, and she couldn't take it back. "I could take him with me if I wanted to and you would have no recourse."

Olivia paused, her back to Alex. She looked down at her feet, trying to decide if she should stay or wait until both of them had cooled off before continuing their 'talk'. Yet Alex was the one threatening her family, a family she had worked so hard to build. In the end, she turned slowly, and as coolly as possible, and walked back toward Alex. "Alex, I don't know what has gotten into you." She looked her dead in the eyes and saw the sorrow behind them. "First you practically accept a job without even actually considering what I'd want and then you threaten me with the possibility of losing our son? Just tell me what you want to hear from me, 'cause I'm at a loss for words."

Suddenly the tension had changed; and Alex met Olivia's eyes once more, "I want you to say you'll go with me, to support me no matter what, and that you love me enough to leave everything behind." She was the one pleading now. She swallowed hard, but she had made up her mind about going.

Olivia could see through the angry words, but it didn't fix the many wounds that had already begun to fester. "I do love you Alex, but can't you see _this_ is my life. This is _our _life. What is it that makes you want to go so badly? Why can't you just be happy here with the life we've created together?"

Alex was no longer able to keep herself together, she looked to the ground and mumbled, "You wouldn't understand." And she began to walk away.

Olivia reached out and grabbed Alex's hand, turning Alex to face her once again. "What wouldn't I understand 'Lex? Tell me." Olivia begged her.

With a look of utter defeat, Alex pulled her hand away from Olivia and walked down the street without any further explanation.

Olivia could feel her heart being torn out at that precise moment when Alex tore her hand away. She felt her eyes beginning to water but fought them back. She clenched her jaw as she watched Alex round a corner. Had she just somehow managed to lose her best friend, her girlfriend, her lover? Surely their conversation wasn't over.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Barely an hour had passed when Olivia arrived once again at the front stoop of the Stabler household. She knocked, and this time Elliot answered.

He saw the forlorn look across her face and shut the door behind him. He guided her hardly protesting form over to the steps where they both took a seat. "What happened?" he asked simply.

Olivia clasped her hands between her knees and looked over at Elliot. "Well, she won her indictment and somehow managed to get a job offer that would land her in Holland for at least a year."

Elliot stayed silent, he knew her struggle, and knew she wasn't done hashing this out.

She looked off into the distance in front of her. "I want to be happy for her Elliot, but I really don't want to leave; and after the way she reacted this evening . . . after the way we both acted," she looked down and shook her head. "I just don't know what to think anymore. I mean, we both said some really hurtful things."

"Well," Elliot began, "I can tell you she loves you, and she wouldn't make a final decision without your approval. She's probably back at the apartment right now calming down."

Olivia looked up at him, still unsure. "I don't know El; you didn't hear some of the things we said…"

Elliot looked around the yard as if the answer lie there someplace. Then he looked back at Olivia, "Liv, we all say things we don't mean. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Go back to the apartment, go talk to her; it beat moping about out here."

A small smile played about the side of Olivia's lips. She raised her eyebrows, "perhaps," she said simply in return. She got up from her seat and began to make her way to his front door, but he stayed seated. "Are you coming?" she asked.

He shook his head no and then answered her, "the boys have their hearts intent on spending the night in their makeshift tent in the living room. We were going to wait to ask until they were both asleep in an hour or so. We didn't expect you to be back so soon."

Olivia walked back down the steps, standing at ground level so her eyes were even with his sitting form. Normally she wouldn't take him up on this sort of offer. It wasn't the first time Riley had spent the night, but she really hated feeling like a burden. Yet, tonight she knew she had some unfinished business with Alex, and she wasn't sure that she wanted Riley in the background to hear any argument, especially if it was over him. So, she conceded, "Ok, but you have to promise to call me if he won't go to sleep or if he gets out of hand."

"I promise."

"And if for some reason Alex comes by, will you call me?" She was fairly certain that Alex wouldn't make good on her threat, but she wasn't ready to rule it out yet either.

"Certainly." This time, Elliot stood and walked back to his door. "I'll see you in the morning," he said and began to enter the house.

"I'll send Anna over in the morning to take Riley to school."

"K," was the only answer she heard as the door swung shut. She climbed back in her car and headed back to the apartment she shared with Alex.

When she got there, however, it was eerily quiet. She looked around their small apartment, but found no trace that Alex had ever made it back. She picked up her phone and dialed the familiar number, it rung three times before she got the voicemail.


	4. Chapter 4: What Happened that Night

Chapter 4: What happened that Night

Alex shut the door to her office behind her. The building was mostly empty and she was relieved to have the solitude. That senseless fight she had with Olivia had worn her out, and she didn't want to go home and face it just yet. She needed time to think, to figure things out.

Alex began making a small pot of coffee for herself. She knew this would most likely end up being a long and painful night. While she waited for the coffee, she slipped out of her tight fitting skirt and silk top into some black trousers and a sweater she kept in her office.

After pouring herself a cup, she wrapped her hands tightly around the warm mug and took a seat at her desk. She turned the chair to face out her window that overlooked more buildings and the streets of New York. She propped her feet up on the window sill, a most unprofessional move, but at the moment she really didn't care.

She looked out over the still busy streets, the haze of passers-by and taxi's honking. It was a noise she loved. It was the noise that she had left so many times before and almost always regretfully. Yet, there was still this drive that kept her going, but there had always been someone that pulled her back. Someone she had fallen in love with, and had a child with. She buried her head in her hands as she remembered the words she spurted out in anger and frustration: _He's MY child, not yours. _

She was regretful of those words. They pressed a heavy weight down on her that she didn't know was possible. She knew Olivia must be feeling the same thing. Liv had been there for everything: the preterm labor, the hostage situation, the bed rest, and the birth. How could she say Riley wasn't Olivia's? She'd helped raise him and knew she would continue to do so.

Before Olivia, Alex had dated on and off, but in the end she always knew they weren't the right person for her, and so it was only self preservation that made her say those things, a deeply rooted reaction that she had thought she had managed to get past. They hadn't called her the 'Ice Princess' for no reason and Olivia was the first one that truly broke through to her. That was why it hurt her so much to hear Olivia say she didn't want to go with her. Then again, she didn't exactly give her the adequate amount of time to adjust to the option.

She gently spun her chair around to face the front of the desk and set her coffee down. She picked up one of the framed pictures on her desk. This was the real reason she knew she had to go. She looked down at the people in the picture, it had been taken outside an orphanage the second day she had arrived in The Congo. It had been on her first mission with the ICC. She stood next to a tall dark man that draped his arm around her shoulder as if they had been friends for ages. He was a native that had grown up in the rebel militia but one day he got left behind and the orphanage picked him up and rehabilitated him. Now he spent his days guarding foreign diplomats through the countryside of The Congo. Next to him were three ladies dressed in colorful dashiki's. They ran an orphanage for the refugee children that had escaped the militia's bonds. A little girl with long braids and colorful barrettes stood in front of Alex. Her eyes were bright, resilient, and her smile shone vibrantly in the picture. She had been orphaned after a particularly gruesome rebel attack. She had lost her arm in that raid along with her innocence. It was her face that woke Alex up at night.

Her name was Habika, and she represented her name well for she truly was a sweetheart. Alex had been so eager to make a difference that she wasted no time. She quickly got acquainted with the people and with the land. The first night she arrived, she spent the whole day talking with the orphans and with some of the ladies that had survived the attack and made it to a refugee camp. Their stories fuelled her indignation and she couldn't wait to visit the same town where these atrocities had occurred. She knew it wouldn't be a particularly pleasant visit, but if she wanted to win in the courts, she had to know what it was like in the battlefield. Yet, there was no way she could have prepared herself for what she saw or what had happened there the night she went.

Alex ran her thumb over the photo as if she could draw some strength from the smiles. The second night she was there, the former soldier took her, Habika, and one of the ladies to the city where Habika had first been attacked. The girl had been eager to show her the small town where she had grown up. AS she looked over the picture, Alex let her mind wander back to that day.

_The jeep rocked back and forth over the hard dirt and pebbled ground. It was the dry season and everything around them was dying. The heat bore down on her with such intensity. She wore a scarf over her hair that flapped behind her as the driver sped along the 'highway'. They had no intension of being caught in the middle of the desert if they happened across some of the militia soldiers. Habika sat next to Alex in between her and the driver. One of the orphanage directors sat in the back seat and swayed along with the jeep. The former soldier stood in the back. A turret had been mounted to the jeep and he kept his hands up and ready, and his eyes searched the countryside as they drove. This was dangerous territory._

_When they arrived, the little town had sparse inhabitants. Habika looked at it with the eyes of one much older, but nonetheless, she took Alex's hand and walked her to the house she grew up. "This was my room," she said proudly. The orphanage directors taught all the kids English in a hope that it would help them gain a better life. "I shared it with my brother and my sister." _

_Alex looked around the small dirt floor room and smiled down at Habika. She hated what had happened to this little girl, but had to ask. She had to know. Habika had been the one to suggest that she testify, and so Alex bent down to the girls level and looked into her bright eyes, "Can you tell me what happened that night sweetheart?" _

_The girl looked her directly in the eyes, fearlessly. "It was dark that night. We had heard reports that the militia was getting close, but they got here quicker than we imagined. They waited until everyone was asleep. The first gunshots woke us up." She moved to the little window in the room and stared out. She pointed off in the distance and Alex could still see the remains of crumbled buildings. "They set fire to the homes there and made their way toward us. My father grabbed his gun and tried to fight them off, but he was shot before he even got a round off. They came in here, three of them. They killed my brother and took me and my sister into the living room." Habika's words trailed off in distant memory. She was thirteen now, it had been four years since the attack. Her eyes glossed over as she recounted the next events. "One man held back my mother as the two men began to rape my sister. I hid in the corner. My sister fought them too much though. They cut off her head. I closed my eyes; I can still hear my mother screaming. Then they drug me in front of her, but by this time, her cries were turning into sobs and the soldiers taunted her. They wanted a rise out of her, so they cut off my arm." She showed Alex the stub that remained and she absent mindedly rubbed it. "Then they raped me in front of my mother while I lay bleeding on the floor. I became numb, and they just left me there to die. Then they killed my mother."_

_The orphanage director stood in the doorway of the home listening to Habika retell her story to Alex. "I found her barely breathing the next day and took her back with me to the orphanage. She was one of the few lucky ones that survived that day," the director said._

_Alex placed a hand on the girls shoulder. "And it's no wonder that you did; you're a strong young lady."_

_Habika beamed from ear to ear. "I know. That's why I am here to help you win your case. I want justice for the other girls like me."_

_Alex stared in amazement down at the girl. She showed a resilience and wisdom beyond her years. That night, they made camp in that same small home. The city was too far for a drive back, and they didn't want to chance being caught on the open road in the middle of the night by the militia, but there was no escaping them that night._

Alex slammed the picture down on her desk and let her head fall into her arms. She cried. They were tears of anger, of sorrow, of loss, and of regret. Her body heaved slightly with the emotions that wreaked havoc on her body.

_Gun shots and screams awoke them that night. Screams that terrified the girl that had been lying next to her on that dirt floor and who was now huddled in the corner. Alex moved to crawl to her, but the soldier pushed her down on the ground as a gunshot whizzed by. The bullet landed in the wall and the girl screamed. The soldier peaked out the window. "The shot was a stray. We have to move now," he said._

_He grabbed Alex's arm and helped her stand. The orphanage director scooped up the girl and carried her out of the room behind Alex and the soldier. They heard screaming as they exited the house. They were chasing after them. Gun shots blasted into the night, illuminating the countryside in ferocious spurts of light. The moon lit her way as Alex raced to the car. Then she heard a scream. She turned to see the woman holding Habika tumble to the ground. She had been shot in the back. _

_Habika rolled onto the ground and lay there stunned and unable to move. The soldier told Alex to climb into the back of the Jeep and lay down. The driver already had the car on and she did as he said. Several more gunshots and several piercing screams filled the night. The soldier hobbled back to the car holding a limp girl in his arms. He had been shot in the leg as he went to rescue the girl. He handed her limp form to Alex and climbed to the turret. He yelled in anger as he pulled the trigger and the Jeep raced off in the night back toward the city._

_Alex felt for a pulse on Habika. There was one; a faint one, but she lay there bleeding in Alex's arms. Slowly her eyes began to close and she faded away. Alex shook her as tears wracked her body. "No, don't die on me, Habika. Not like this, not like this." Her 'no's' became a silent cry, a mantra she kept repeating as she hugged the girl closer to her body and rocked her lifeless form. _

_They made it back to the city that night. The next day, Alex attended Habika's funeral at a graveyard not far from the city. There were several women and orphans that she had met attending the funeral; and as they lowered the girl's body into the ground, Alex looked around and made a silent vow to get justice for all these women and children. It was a vow that she hadn't been able to keep. After three months, the indictment was thrown out, and the gorilla leader of the rebel militia was back on the streets and terrorizing the countryside, and there was nothing Alex could do about it . . . Until now._

Alex lifted her head after the tears had stopped. She rubbed her eyes and looked up as she blinked away her tears. Her chest hurt where she had been shot many years ago, it was a phantom pain that flared up when she thought of Habika. She sighed heavily. She had to go home to Olivia, to her son, but she couldn't stay there.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Olivia lay in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was two am and still Alex hadn't returned home. The detective in her feared the worst, but she knew Alex was most likely at her office. She had hoped that she wouldn't stay there all night and Olivia was beginning to get restless. She thought about heading over there, but knew that Alex would come home when she was ready. As she lay there though, she got more and more restless. Just as she was about to get up and head to the office, she heard keys in the lock and the front door open.

Alex walked into the apartment and set her keys down on the entry table. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw her bloodshot eyes and the bags that had formed there. Then she laid her briefcase down and headed into their bedroom.

Olivia turned on a lamp and sat up in the bed. She watched as Alex walked into the room without acknowledging her. "You're back," she said slightly surprised.

Alex looked up at her with sad eyes and said, "I just needed some time." She readily slipped out of her clothing and into some night clothes.

Olivia watched her, but said nothing. Her motions were weak, defeated. So, Liv sat there waiting for Alex to make the first move.

Alex slowly climbed into the bed. She sat her glasses down on the nightstand before she turned to look at Olivia. She let her head fall to the backboard and she didn't even try to make excuses for what she'd said. She could see the hurt in Olivia's eyes and she was sorry that she'd been the one to put it there. So, she apologized, "I'm sorry Liv. Everything I said," she took her gaze off Olivia and looked out at nothing in particular and continued, "I didn't mean it." She breathed in heavily and glanced over at Olivia. She seemed to accept her apology with the faint flicker of her eyes, but she remained quiet. She needed an explanation, but Alex wasn't sure she was ready to give her one.

As much as Olivia wanted to take Alex into her arms and accept her apology and draw out her reasons, she stayed quiet. She looked at Alex and saw that she had a wall up, an old wall; or perhaps a new one and she wasn't yet sure how to breach it. She reached out and pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. The movement brought a weak smile to Alex's face. "I know," Olivia said. She looked Alex in the eyes and apologized too, "We both said some things we didn't mean."

Alex kept her gaze on Olivia. She knew she was forgiven for those harsh words, and she forgave Olivia for the things she had said too. Alex sighed but kept her eyes on Olivia to read her reaction as she said, "I have to go Liv."

Olivia turned her body to face Alex more, now determined to know why. "Alex, can't we at least talk about this some more?"

Alex wasn't able to look Olivia in the eyes anymore. She was torn between the need to go and her longing to do what Olivia wanted, which was to stay. So, she reacted in the only way she knew how. She had made her decision but didn't want Liv to feel pressured or guilty for staying. So she turned to Olivia and said, "I am leaving in two days, but I am leaving Riley with you." She looked into Liv's eyes and saw the confusion, but instead of giving her time to argue, Alex slinked under the covers and rolled away from Olivia and closed her eyes.

Olivia sat there stunned as she looked down at Alex. She was unable to formulate any words and unable to distinguish what she was feeling. It was a relief that Riley wasn't being torn away from her, but why was Alex leaving? What tormented her so?


	5. Chapter 5: Catch Me

Chapter 5: Catch Me

It was not yet six am when Alex found herself shuffling around in the kitchen. She searched the cupboards for her favorite mug and when she found it, she poured herself some coffee. She took a sip, testing the temperature. When she turned to go sit at the table, she found herself meeting Olivia's gaze.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," Alex said as she stood there.

Olivia sighed and said, "It's not like my sleep was restful."

They had been friends for a very long time, worked together as professionals for the same amount of time, and finally had been dating for over three years. A simple look could ask a question or answer one. Alex knew how good Olivia's instincts were, and she knew Liv could see how close she was to running out the door at that exact moment. Olivia casually leaned in the doorway of the kitchen. The stance was unthreatening, but the question in her eyes remained.

Alex squared her jaw and looked down into her mug. When she looked back at Olivia, she simply brushed past her reasserting her determined demeanor.

Olivia's shoulders slumped slightly as she watched her girlfriend head to the door. "Can't we talk about this some more Alex?"

Alex slipped on her coat and turned to face Olivia. There was a tone to her voice quite unlike any Olivia had ever heard before. It was distant. "There's not much to discuss Liv." With that, Alex began to open the door.

Olivia stomped over to the entryway and placed one hand on the door, blocking Alex's exit. "No, you don't get to just walk out on me." She searched Alex's eyes.

"It's different this time Liv, and you know it." Alex stood there pensively.

Olivia let her hand slide off the door. "What's so different Alex, that you would just leave your family?"

"A lot," Alex said and gripped the knob of the door again. "A lot is different." She turned away from Liv and walked out of the door.

Olivia stood in the doorway and watched her walk down the hall toward the elevator. The elevator opened and Alex walked in, pushed the bottom floor button, and turned to face Olivia. The doors shut, and she was gone. Liv let the apartment door fall closed behind her. She knew there was no changing Alex's mind once it was made up, but Liv knew that if she could find out why Alex wanted to go so badly, then she might be able to reason with her. After all, there had to be a reason, but she already had less than two days to figure it out.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Alex knocked on the door of the Stabler household and Kathy answered it and ushered her inside.

"Alex, we weren't expecting you to come by." The two of them stood silently inside the entryway. The boys were both still asleep on the living room floor.

Alex sighed and looked at Kathy. "Well, this could very well be the last time you see me for a while."

Kathy gave her an inquisitive look.

"I took a job overseas. I wanted to come by and take Riley out for our last full day together."

Kathy's eyebrow went up. "Oh, you aren't taking him with you?"

One of the sheets began to rustle and it diverted Alex's attention, but she quickly answered Kathy, "No, he's staying here with Liv." Before any objection could be heard, Alex made her way over to the tent. She ducked under a sheet and squatted down next to Riley's sleeping form.

His skin was as light as hers, and was as perfectly flawless as an infants. His lips lay slightly parted, their pink mottled only by the little bit of drool that seeped onto the pillow. His eyelids fluttered in sleep. He was lying on his side, and his dark auburn hair stuck straight up. Alex couldn't resist but lay a soft hand to his delicate cheek.

But Riley's instincts were exactly like Olivia's, only, he always woke up in a good mood. Riley's eyes shot open and he sat up. "Mommy!" he exclaimed. "What you doing here?" His bright blue eyes shone with bewildered surprise.

Alex couldn't help but smile at his reaction. "I've come to take you out for the day."

Riley seemed to accept the answer, and without further question he stood up and walked to the door.

Both Kathy and Alex laughed at Riley as he stood patiently waiting at the front door. He was still in his pajamas and his hair, adorable as it might be, was still sticking up on one side of his head.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

The first place Alex and Riley went after they got him dressed and ready for the day was to Central Park. Alex strode along the pathway as Riley bounced around and jumped off benches and over rocks. Before they got to the playground, Alex sat him down on one of the benches to talk to him about her leaving.

He impatiently sat on the bench, but stared up at his mommy, waiting for her to talk.

"Riley," she started, "I have to go away for a little while."

"Where are we going?" he asked.

Alex clenched her jaw and stared down at her son. This was not going to be easy, but she still felt she had to do it. "Not we, Riley, just me. You are going to stay here with momma."

"But where you going? On airplane?"

"Yes, I'm going on an airplane to another country."

"I'm an airplane, see?" he jumped off the bench and spread his arms out. He started running down the path and letting his lips rumble in an engine noise. "Catch me!" he called out to her as he ran.

Alex sighed. She knew he wasn't going to understand the concept. She could only hope that he wouldn't hate her, or Olivia, for it. She got up and playfully chased him further down the path until they got to the playground where she sat and watched him play for the better half of the morning before she took him up to her office to pack some of her things.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

"Hold the elevator." Elliot stuck his hand in the door just as it was about to close, but it reopened and he stepped inside. "Hey you," he said as he saw Olivia standing inside.

"Hey you, yourself," she retorted, clearly not in the mood for small talk.

Elliot understood her disgruntled nature and he gave her a discontented smile. He crossed his arms and looked at her; his gate was wide as he looked her over, trying to read her.

She was standing against the back wall with her hands behind her on the railing. She was neither looking at him or at anything in particular. Her facial expression portrayed a professional look, but her eyes betrayed her; they always did.

"Kathy says Alex came by to get Riley this morning." He looked at her for clues, but she remained as she was. "I guess your talk with Alex didn't go over so well last night?" It was a statement, but asked so as it would at least elicit a response.

Olivia looked over at him this time, but ignored his question. She pushed herself off the railing and stood waiting for the door of the elevator to open.

Elliot walked in closer to her. "Look Liv, maybe I could get Kathy to talk to her, maybe knock some sense into her, you know and . . ."

The elevator dinged and they were at their floor. She turned to him angrily and spouted off, "It's none of your damn business Elliot, so stay out of it."

Elliot's hands went up defensively. "Just trying to help," he said.

They started walking towards their desks, "Yeah, well, I don't need your help El."

"Where have you two been?" It was Cragen who was walking toward them.

Elliot looked down at his watch, "it's not even seven yet Captain."

Cragen rubbed his eyes with his thumb and his forefinger, clearly upset. "You know the serial rapist we collard last week? Well, either he had an accomplice, or we got the wrong guy."

Olivia took a step toward him and grabbed the file from his hand. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, another ten year old girl was kidnapped late last night and we have forty hours to get her back before he kills her."

Olivia handed the file to Elliot. She would have to put off digging in Alex's past for a reason for her departure for now. She grabbed her coat and she and Elliot headed out the precinct once more. As she left, she knew she might not get an answer until after Alex had left, and her chest felt heavy with a burden she couldn't put her finger on.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

It was early the next morning and Alex was putting the last of her things into her overnight bag. Olivia had never made it home that night, but Alex figured it was for the better. She was sure that without too much probing, Olivia would have been able to coax Alex into telling her why she had to go. It wasn't that what happened in The Congo was a big secret, but she knew that if Liv found out, she'd want to give up everything and go with her. Of course that was what Alex had wanted in the first place, but not now, not after Olivia had said she'd wanted to stay. Alex knew what it was like to have to give up everything and start a new life. Olivia had never lived anywhere except New York. And that would have made Alex feel even guiltier, especially if she ended up losing the case.

Alex heard a knock on the door and abandoned her carry on to answer it. "Good morning Anna," she said as she saw their nanny standing in the doorway.

"Good morning Ms. Cabot," said Anna as she entered into their home.

"I've told you several times to call me Alex. We've known each other for three years." Alex gave Anna a tender smile. Despite her persistence, Anna had insisted on calling her 'Ms. Cabot'. She said it was good for Riley to hear her addressed as so. So, Alex didn't push it too much because she had nothing but respect for the gentle old woman that casually walked into their apartment and so easily made herself at home.

Anna made her way to the kitchen and began making breakfast for Riley who was still asleep in his bedroom.

Alex carried her things to the door and made her way one last time that morning into her son's room. Tears caught in her throat as she looked down at her son. He was always so peaceful when he slept. She had had another nightmare last night. She saw Habika's face again. And as she looked down at her son, she felt a new resolve taking place. She had to get justice, not only for Habika, but for all those children sleeping in a fear that no child should ever have to sleep with.

She bent down and whispered in his ear, "Goodbye Riley. Mommy loves you so much." She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and he woke up.

He bolted up in bed and gave her a harsh look. "You leaving me."

His blunt statement startled her. She stroked his hair and swallowed back her tears. "Only for a little while, only to help other kids your age." She got up from her seat and walked to the front door before her heart could break any more than it already was.

He followed behind her and his tears were blatant as they started rolling down his cheeks. "Don't leave me mommy," he pleaded. He grabbed her leg and held on tight as she gripped the knob of the door.

Her resolve wavered for a brief moment, but she instead bent down and turned to face her son. She grabbed him by the shoulders, not sternly, but assuredly. "I need you to take care of momma for me. Can you do that?"

Through hushed tears and shortness of breath, he nodded his "uh, huh".

She gave him one last kiss and stood. She grabbed her bags and headed out the door. Tears began to surface and a few rolled down her cheek. She let the door slam behind her and she wiped away her tears. With a little shake of her head, her demeanor changed and she headed down the elevator and toward the airport.

Anna stood behind Riley and he turned toward her. She picked him up and cradled him in her arms singing old lullabies to him and rocking him gently as his sobs continued to wrack his tiny body.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Olivia cursed and threw her cell phone on her desk. She had been trying to call Alex for the past ten hours but apparently her girlfriend had turned off her phone. Olivia looked at the clock and laid her head on her desk. Alex's flight was due to take off in an hour and still Liv hadn't been able to get through any of the files she had somehow managed to pull up on Alex's time in The Congo. It had taken them thirty seven hours, but they found the little girl and the accomplice before it was too late.

Sleep deprivation was beginning to overtake her body and all she wanted was to climb back into bed, but knowing that Alex wasn't there waiting for her made it all the more painful. She didn't want to go home and face the silence, or the accusing eyes of her son.

She felt a strong and familiar hand gently placed on her back. She turned her head to look at Elliot who was squatting next to her desk, now eye level with her. She sighed and gave him a sad smile. She wasn't mad at him, none of it was his fault, and he was only trying to be there for her.

"You can't let her leave like this Liv." His voice was steady and his eyes unwavering.

She saw the sincerity in his eyes and perhaps he was right, but uncertainty filled her voice. She brought her head up off the desk and asked, "She's leaving in less than an hour, what am I supposed to do?"

He reached his hand out to her waist and unclipped her badge. He held it in his hand. He knew what he was about to suggest was totally against protocol, but he smiled as he tossed it in his hands. "You're a detective." His eyes gleamed as he looked her in the eyes and said, "Go catch her."


	6. Chapter 6: The Other Side of the World

Chapter 6: The Other Side of the World

Olivia jumped out of her squad car almost before putting it in park. There weren't very many people in the parking garage so she began to run. The adrenaline began coursing through her veins and all she cared about was getting to that plane on time, getting to Alex on time.

She didn't even bother with the elevator, running up the escalator seamed a lot faster. When she got to the crowded booking area, she calmly strode right up to a security clerk. She flashed her badge and was let through. She didn't want to cause a panic, but her eyesight began to narrow none the less. She made her way quickly to the flight board and scanned the times and location of Alex's airplane. Gate G 36, of course it was way in the back. Flight –on time. Olivia checked her watch, it was 1:58 and her flight was due to take off at two.

She let out a hushed curse and began running toward the G gate. She was in her civilian clothes so other people just mistook her for a late passenger. She dodged golf carts, old people, and rolling suitcases. She wasn't even sure what she was going to say to Alex if she did get there on time, but she had to stop her. She couldn't let Alex go, not again. Gate E 22. Olivia kept running. Gate F 40. She was almost there. She heard an overhead announcement, but was so focused she couldn't make out the words. Did it say something about the Holland flight?

Gate G 36, she made it. She ran up to the desk. Two clerks were closing the doors. She flashed her badge. "You have to let me in there." She was out of breath and bent over at the waist as she held up her detective's badge.

The clerk looked alarmed. "We can't let you in there miss."

Olivia stood back up and walked to the door. "I need to get someone off that plane."

"But the plane has already left," the clerk said.

Olivia made her way to the window, still out of breath. The plane was gone. Olivia's hope sunk, and her head begun to spin. She was too late.

A voice snapped her back to reality. "Do I need to get a hold of the air marshal on that flight?"

Olivia looked from the window to the clerk and then back out the window again. "No, no. I'll just catch the next flight out."

"Very well. We have a flight scheduled for six o clock tonight." The clerk began typing in her computer. "We have plenty of seats available. Would you like first class or coach?"

Olivia smiled to herself, despite her tardiness. Alex would be sitting first class. "I'll need two for coach," she said as she dug out her cell phone. She walked to the counter and paid for the flight tickets. When Anna answered the phone, Olivia said, "Pack an overnight bag for Riley. I need you to bring him to the airport; we're going after Alex."

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

The airplane roared under Alex's feet as it took off down the runway. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her oversized chair. The first thought that popped into her mind was Riley running down the pathway in central park pretending he was an airplane. He had been so crushed when Alex had left this morning, and she had to fight off the image of him grasping her leg and not wanting to let her go. That shouldn't be a last memory. She knew she'd see him again, but not for a long time, too long.

The plane lifted off the ground and Alex's stomach dropped with the defiance of gravity. She was beginning to feel nauseous, maybe this was a mistake. She peeled and eye open and looked out her window. New York was beginning to fade behind the clouds. She lifted her hand to the window and let her fingers rest against the pane as though reaching out for those she'd left behind. A bitter tug-of war had begun within her, but she had already made her choice. One she was beginning to regret.

Her normal demeanor and air of confidence was beginning to feel dislodged and out of place, and there was no one there to keep her weighted down. _What if she lost the case? Would all this have been for nothing? _She drifted off to sleep and waited for the plane to arrive at a none too familiar landing. A weight pressed down on her chest and she knew she would have to drudge through the next year of court dates, of battles won and lost, of unfamiliar people, of an un familiar language, and of un familiar surroundings, all without Olivia and without her son. So there she was floating somewhere in between and there was no one to hold her down.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Riley bounced in his seat on the airplane beside Olivia. The plane was not yet halfway there and he had too much energy to sit still. There were only so many in flight movies that could keep an active three year old entertained for long. "We're going to get mommy?" Riley asked Olivia again for what seemed like the thirtieth time that flight.

"Yes Riles," Olivia said, using his nickname. If she had been more prepared, she would have brought snacks, or a coloring book, or some toys for him to play with on the long flight. But the only thing that had crossed her mind was going after Alex. At least the airport lobby had lots of airplanes to watch take off. Riley had a thing for airplanes and little cars. Olivia had found an overpriced model in the airport gift shop and bought it for Riley.

He played with the plane now. He let the tray table fall as fast as it could into his lap and squealed in delight when it did a little bouncing.

Olivia was way too tired to care about proper airplane etiquette right now. He was three, this was a long flight, and she was exhausted after having been up the past two days. If he bothered anyone, then they could just bite her ass. And hey, if they were still over American seas, she could still arrest them for that too.

Riley sat his airplane down on the tray and made plane noises as he pretended the tray was a runway. "Vrrrrrrrrrr . . . ahh oh no, help me momma!" the plane lifted off the tray and he wobbled it in the 'sky'. "Don't worry, I'll save you." Riley used a trifold that was in the airplane seat back as a 'hero'. The trifold was just a simple piece of laminated paper that explained what to do in an emergency situation, but it had lots of pictures of people on it. The airplane landed on the trifold and was gently brought back down to the tray table in a safe landing.

Olivia smiled at his vivid imagination. A few hours later, he was passed out with his head in her lap. She propped her head on a pillow against the side of the plane and finally let her mind and body drift off into an anxious sleep.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Finally they arrived, a little jet lagged and still tired, but it was 1 pm in Holland, and they had someone to find. They skipped past the baggage claim since they only brought a backpack for Riley and headed out into the streets of the Netherlands. Olivia hailed a cab and took it directly to the ICC building. After a bit of a drive, they arrived at the tall statuesque building.

The ICC was made up of two buildings; one was almost fully glass and the other was filled with windows. They were connected at the top by a long walkway. Olivia got out her cell phone and thought about calling Alex, but decided a surprise visit might just make her day. She and Riley made their way hand in hand into the building. They stopped at the front desk.

"Can you tell me where I can find Alex Cabot?" Olivia asked the front desk clerk.

The clerk eyed Olivia and Riley. She didn't seem to be a particularly pleasant lady. "I can't give out that information."

Suits walked by and scanned their cards at the entrance behind the front clerk. So, they had to get past this unlikable clerk before entering the main building. "Well, can you at least tell me if Alex made it in today?" Olivia asked politely.

"Why don't I just take a message, and if this Alex comes in I'll hand it over." The clerk was becoming a smart ass and obviously had no intention of delivering a message.

Olivia leaned an elbow on the front desk and tried to be as agreeable as possible, but she couldn't keep the hint of disgust out of her voice. "Look, my son and I took a red eye flight all the way from America so we could surprise Alex at work. So could you just look up in your log and tell me if Alex Cabot made it in?"

The clerk's nostrils flared slightly, but none the less she began to type into her computer. "Can I ask your relation to this Alex?"

"I'm the girlfriend." Olivia said simply.

"It looks like no one by that name has come in today."

Olivia sighed and her shoulders slumped. She turned around and began to head towards the door with Riley following right beside her acting just as gloomy as she felt. When they got out side, she took a seat on a stone bench and began to ponder her next move when she saw a familiar form walk past her on her way into the building.

"Judge Donnelly?" Olivia asked loudly and honestly surprised to be seeing the judge.

Elizabeth Donnelly turned around slightly startled. "Olivia is that you?"

Liv got up from the bench and walked toward the judge. "Yes it's me and Riley. We've come to find Alex, but I kind of wanted it to be a surprise." Olivia looked off toward the building now a little forlornly. "It seems she hasn't made it into work yet. She hasn't been here a day yet, but knowing Alex, she would want to get right to work." Olivia smiled at the little sentiment.

"You're certainly right about that." Elizabeth chuckled to herself. "My plane got in a few hours before hers late last night and here I am. They set me up at the Moevenpick Den Haag hotel. I've got a roommate for now, but they'll help us find a place to stay more permanently soon enough. Alex should in fact be there right now."

"Riley did you hear that?" Olivia said as she turned toward her son.

"We find mommy?" He asked with wide excited eyes.

Elizabeth smiled down at Riley and then looked back to Olivia. She pointed to a train station not far away. "Just hop on the train toward Vooburg. It'll only take you about five minutes to get there. You can't miss the hotel."

So Olivia and Riley did just that. They hoped the train and the excitement they both felt grew. Five minutes later they got off at their stop in Vooburg. They walked along the pathway past several tidy shops, a bakery, and a few bars before they found their hotel. They walked inside and talked with the front clerk who happened to be very helpful. She gave them quick directions to the room and waved bye at Riley.

Riley was beginning to get anxious. He had been so good the entire flight and now here they were. The person they were looking for was right on the other side of that door. Olivia stilled her restless nerves and took in a deep breath. She looked down at Riley whose right leg was twitching in anticipation. This was the moment of truth. She knocked on the door and waited.

A familiar voice rose from behind the door, "I'm coming."

Alex opened the door and for only a brief moment stood there completely shocked. She was indeed dressed as though she were ready to go to court.

"Mommy!" Riley bounded into her arms without hesitation. His backpack fell to the floor and he hugged her neck as tight as he could.

Alex picked him up in her arms and rested her head against the side of his as she wrapped her arms tightly around him and supported him. She closed her eyes and without knowing it, her body began to rock him from side to side. Her eyes watered and her tears freely flowed down her cheeks. "You don't know how much I missed you."

Olivia had to try hard to choke back her tears as she looked over at the woman she loved embracing their son. _How could she have ever let her leave? _Olivia reached up her hand and wiped a tear off Alex's cheek.

Alex looked up through her glasses at Olivia. No words were necessary because they each knew. They knew that all the ugly words they had said were in the past, that all the arguments were behind them. All that mattered was this moment and that they were no longer separated. Alex continued to hold Riley, but he lifted his head and she scooted him to the side of her hip. She grabbed Olivia's hand and whispered, "I love you."

Olivia leaned in and kissed Alex for what seemed like forever. Their lips melted together by a force stronger than the oceans that had threatened to keep them apart. When Olivia pulled back, she rested her forehead on Alex's. She looked into her loving eyes and said, "It doesn't matter that I've never lived anywhere besides New York. I would travel to the other side of the world for you, because YOU are my home, and I love you."


	7. Chapter 7: Into the Night

Chapter 7: Into the Night

When the door finally closed behind them and they were all standing inside the hotel room, Alex put Riley down. Immediately he set to exploring the suite and eventually found the TV and plopped down on the floor to watch a cartoon in Dutch.

Alex was still holding onto Olivia's hand, not wanting to let it go, and unwilling to break the contact. She couldn't believe they were both here, actually here.

Eventually the stress and the magnitude of exhaustion Olivia had felt over the past few days overtook her body and she flopped down on the bed. Her hands landed above her head and her legs still dangled off the edge of the bed.

Alex sat down next to her and let her hands fall on either side of her lap and her shoulders slumped slightly forward. "I wasn't sure I'd ever get to see you again."

Olivia sat up on the bed and faced Alex now concerned. She reached out her hand and placed it on Alex's knee. "'Lex, why would you say that?"

"It's just the way I left . . . I wasn't sure you'd want me back." Alex let her whole guard down. That wall she had built up, that impenetrable defense of pride and stubbornness had collapsed the minute she had opened that door. Her eyes were soft and vulnerable.

"We both tend to want to escape when we're scared; when we want something so much that it hurts to voice those thoughts." Olivia searched Alex's eyes to see if she had hit the right point. When Alex gently smiled and laid her head on Olivia's shoulder, she knew she had. Liv wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and hugged her in close, resting her chin on top of her head, protecting her, claiming her. "What happened in the Congo that made you so determined to come back?"

Alex kept her head down on Olivia's shoulder, enjoying the warmth and the protection, needing it and craving it. "I saw what those beasts did to some of those kids. I held a dying child in my arms as we fled an encampment."

Olivia looked down at Alex. She had never told her that before and it surprised her that Alex would keep something like that a secret from her. Olivia let out a large sigh. She knew what it was like to watch a child die in front of your eyes and not be able to do anything about it.

"I made a promise to those women and to myself that I would get justice for them, but there's no justice to be found in the Congo, only more death." Alex looked up at Olivia but kept her head resting on Liv's shoulder.

"You could have told me I would have understood," Olivia said.

Alex sat up and glanced over at Riley before she turned back to Liv. "I know what it's like to be taken away from your life, to have to leave it all behind and start over new. I didn't want you and Riley to have to do that, so I gave you an out."

"But by keeping that from me you took away my choice." Olivia let her words settle in before she continued. "When you feel all alone and the world is crashing down on you, let me be there for you. Let me in and let me bring you back. If you want to fly off to the other side of the world, then I want to fly away with you into the night."

"And what happens when I lose the indictment? What happens when everything I worked so hard for falls apart and I crash and burn? What if there's no happy ending?" Alex looked down at her hands, still unsure of herself.

Olivia reached her hand out and lifted Alex's chin. "Then I'll be here to pick up the pieces. You're not alone Alex. I will always be here for you."

Alex's eyes watered but she kept in her tears and swallowed them back. "Always?" she asked.

"Always," Olivia said.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

After a few hours of resting, and after having a bite to eat as a late lunch, the three of them headed back to the ICC to take a look at Alex's new office and to get some of her things settled in.

They arrived at the front desk and Alex walked up to the desk clerk.

The clerk eyed Olivia who stood very closely next to Alex.

"I am here to pick up my new ID card, and I'll need two visitor's passes." Alex said. Riley began tugging on her pant leg and so she bent down to pick him up.

"Name please," the clerk said as she opened a drawer to dig around for the new ID.

"Alex Cabot."

"Oh so you're the MS. Alex Cabot." The clerk found the ID and eyed Riley, "He looks more like your son," she said as she looked between Alex and Liv.

"He is my son," Alex said clearly confused by the clerk's choice of words.

Olivia hadn't told her about the altercation she had with this woman earlier in the day. She hadn't wanted to spoil a good moment.

"I has two mommies!" Riley said and held up two fingers at the clerk. "See, one two!" he pointed at Olivia and then at Alex.

"I'll take those visitors passes now," Olivia said and reached over to grab them. She pinned one to Riley's jacket and the other to hers.

The clerk was still eyeing the three of them obviously not liking the fact that these two women were in a relationship and happened to have a child together as well. Regardless, she handed Alex her ID and Alex and Riley walked off.

"Do you have a problem?" Olivia asked.

"Two mommies, pfft . . ." the clerk visibly dismissed Olivia with a grunt and a wave of her hand.

"Well," Liv turned to make sure Alex and Riley weren't watching and then turned back toward the clerk. "It beats having just one!" Liv held up her middle finger at the clerk and then turned after Alex after she got the appropriate response of shock.

They spent the rest of the day laying out some of Alex's new things and meeting other employees. They toured the building and went and visited Judge Donnelly in her new office as well.

That evening they had dinner at a quaint eatery not far from the ICC. Afterwards, they headed back to the hotel.

Riley was already asleep on Olivia's shoulder as she carried him through the hotel lobby and into the elevator.

"I wonder if my roommate has shown up yet," Alex stated.

"I hope they don't mind having two extra people crashing with them."

The elevator dinged and they were at their floor. "Well, it can't be too long before we find a more permanent residence. So we won't have to suffer too much." Alex set her bag down and slipped the key into the lock. The door beeped and she opened the door for Olivia and Riley.

But Olivia froze just inside the doorway.

"What is it?" Alex asked, but didn't need an answer when she shut the door and saw who it was Olivia was staring at.

"Alex, honey, hi dear. It's so nice to see you again." Katie rested her hand on Alex's arm. "This must be your son." She walked the short distance towards Riley and stepped around Olivia so she could see his face that was still resting on Liv's shoulder. She pushed back a small piece of hair. "He's beautiful," she commented and then looked at Olivia. "Hi Olivia. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

Liv gave a slight nod of her head, "And I wasn't expecting to see you here either." Olivia walked over toward hers and Alex's bed and slowly set Riley down. She bent down to take off his shoes and socks before recovering him with the blanket.

"So what ARE you doing here Katie?" Alex asked.

Katie moved about the room effortlessly and went and sat on one of the chairs in the lounge area of the suite. Alex sat down on the couch and Liv quickly joined her.

"I was put on suspension after our last encounter, and when I went back to work I applied for a new position. I'm an international marshal now, it's a branch off the FBI dedicated to working with very specific international groups. In my case, I work for the ICC." Katie picked up a beer that she had already brought out and took a sip out of it. "I was the one who arrested that lieutenant you're prosecuting you know. So I'm here to guard and escort him now."

"I'm surprised," Olivia said. "It seems like after that last international incident they wouldn't want you traveling anymore." Liv raised an eyebrow.

"Ok . . . Liv you want a drink?" Alex asked as she got up from the couch and walked into the tiny kitchen to grab two more beers.

"Actually," Katie said, "that is very precisely why they took me."

"Why is that?" Olivia asked.

Katie looked behind her at Alex who was still in the kitchen taking the lids off the beers and then turned back to face Olivia. "Because when I have a goal in mind, I reach it; and when I want something, or someone . . . I get them."

Olivia sat back into the couch reading the intermittent threat in her voice, "Well, no one gets caught unless they're missing." Olivia matched the underlying threat in Katie's voice and then added as Alex headed back toward them, "I sure hope you don't plan on putting Alex's and Riley's life in danger again."

Katie's eyes narrowed slightly and she leaned forward, into the conversation as she sat her drink back down on the coffee table. "No Olivia, I don't." She leaned back when Alex sat down and handed a beer to Liv.

Katie smiled at Alex when she sat back down and then Katie turned to Olivia. Her voice reverted back to her charming tone, "It sure is nice to see Alex as a mum isn't it?"

Olivia placed her hand on top of Alex's leg and looked up at her girlfriend. "It is very good to see. She's a very good mommy"

Alex gave a small blush that only Liv would have been able to see and she was even gladder they had come after her because she had almost lost that privilege.

"Well," Katie said, "I don't know about you, but I think I'm going to head off to bed."

"Sounds good to me," Olivia agreed.

Olivia changed and crawled into the middle of the bed. Riley was on one side and Alex climbed in on the other.

"How'd I get so lucky to have you in my life?" Alex rhetorically whispered quietly into Liv's ear. Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia and Liv let her head rest on the inside of Alex's shoulder and arm. Soon they both drifted off into sleep.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

At some point in the night, Liv flopped over and when she instinctively reached out to check on Riley, she felt nothing but sheets. She bolted up in the bed, only briefly stirring Alex and quickly looked around the room. "Riley?" she called out but not too loudly.

She flipped on the small lamp by her table and waited for her eyes to adjust. She stood up from the bed and glanced about the room. Then she walked into the bathroom and saw evidence of a little boy having been in there in the middle of the night without lights on. He had been sleepwalking again. So she checked around the room again, and beside her bed and on the opposite side of Alex but still couldn't find Riley.

She was about to wake Alex and set off on a thorough search of the hotel when she heard rustling and a boy noise. She walked over to where she heard the noise and froze when she saw where he was.

He was in the bed with Katie and was curled up comfortably in the small of her back.

**A/N: So this may not have made complete sense if you didn't read my story Blind Run. Katie is Alex's British ex girlfriend and had tried to steal Alex back from Olivia, but at one point ended up putting Alex's and Riley's lives in danger. Dun Dun! And reviews always loved!**


	8. Chapter 8: All that is Mine

Chapter 8: All that is Mine

**A/N: Sorry this update took so long, I wasn't feeling very inspired for a while. Anyways, so a little back ground in case you haven't read Blind Run. Alex dated Katie for about three months, then when Alex moved to England for a while, she hooked up with this guy named Pierce. When she told him she was pregnant he really wanted nothing to do with her. So, she went back to the US to work a case with our SVU team. Meanwhile, she and Liv started dating. Then Katie showed back up and tried to steal Alex away, and while a very pregnant Alex was being held at gun point, Katie risked all their lives and ended up getting shot and sent back home to England. So Alex recovered and Liv was able to be there for the birth and Olivia has been with Alex and helping to raise Riley ever since. (oh, and shout out to Elliotandoliviababies for this great idea teehee lol)**

Olivia immediately walked around to the opposite side of the bed and pulled Riley away from Katie. He stirred and fussed a little bit, but closed his eyes once again when his head hit Olivia's shoulder. She started to walk back to her bed when Katie sat up.

"You didn't have to move him. He was fine," Katie said.

Olivia glared at Katie and laid Riley down in the middle of her bed. Then she sat on the edge, with her back up against Alex's as she leaned over to reply to Katie. "I don't like my son sleeping with you," she said bluntly without hiding her disapproval.

Alex stirred when she felt Liv's back against her own and heard Liv talking. She rolled over groggily and placed her hand on Liv's lower back. "Baby, what's the matter?"

Katie decided to answer, "She's just getting upset because Riley was sleep walking and climbed into bed with me."

Alex closed her eyes again and rolled back into Riley. "It's no big deal, Liv. Just come back to sleep."

Olivia let out a grunt and turned to face her girlfriend, "Alex, it _IS_ a big deal. I don't trust her."

Alex didn't even open her eyes as she spoke, "Well I trust her; that should be enough for you."

Olivia's eyes got even wider as she heard what Alex had just said. "Are you kidding me?" but Alex just ignored her and Liv figured she had already fallen back asleep.

A smug grin filled Katie's face and she pushed back the covers in her bed. "I guess it's good to know where I stand between you two." She stood up and stretched.

Olivia turned back around and stood up to face Katie. "If you try anything, if you try to take Alex away, if you try to take Riley away from me, I swear I'll . . ."

"You'll what detective?" Katie stepped closer to Liv. Their eyes were now mere inches apart. "You'll rip me to shreds? Give me a good verbal lashing?" She raised an eyebrow, "Or do you have more sinister things in mind? Would you like to be the one to shoot me this time? Hmm?"

Olivia searched her eyes and really didn't know how to respond to her. "Just stay away. Alex has been through enough with you already."

Katie let her eyes fall seductively over Olivia's body and then they traced the outline of her breasts before they landed on Olivia's lips. Her voice was low and husky as she whispered even closer to Olivia, "Who said I was here to steal Alex away?"

Olivia was stuck there in a trance. She could feel Katie's breath on her lips and the heat they emitted. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't turned on right about now. Liv and Alex had always had a bit of a break up to make up relationship, and steamy fights always got the best of her. But this was o so wrong, and she knew it. However, she wasn't above playing a game. She let her voice match Katie's seductive tone and she slowly shifted her body so that Katie had to move with her. "You know what I think," Olivia was now slowly inching forward, making Katie inch backwards until her back was up against a wall. "I think you just enjoy the thrill."

Katie's back was all the way up against the wall. Her hands were at her side and she could feel the heat radiating off Olivia's body they were so close. Her breathing became a little more ragged and she wasn't exactly sure how to react.

Liv dropped her head ever so slightly, brought her hands above Katie's shoulders and anchored them to the wall, effectively pinning her there as she brought her lips so much closer to Katie's. "Although, I'm sure we both know exactly why we love Alex so much."

Katie managed to mumble out, "Why's that?" while she kept her eyes glued to Olivia's lips.

Olivia closed her eyes as several memories of why began to overwhelm her. "Mmm," Olivia hummed closer to Katie's ear as she continued, still low and seductive, "it's the way she touches you in places you've never before been touched. It's the way her tongue moves inside you that makes you just scream in ecstasy." She pushed her body into Katie's, her breasts rubbing closely, grinding against Katie's. "It's the kind of raw sex that makes you sweat as you orgasm _over_ and _over_," she let her words hang and then added, "and you _never_ want it to end." Liv opened her eyes and found Katie's whose eyes were still transfixed to Liv's lips.

Olivia let her mouth hang open slightly, seductively and she licked her top lip. "Is that what turns you on?" Olivia backed her body off Katie's ever so slightly and let her hand run the length of Katie's body. She could tell her touch had an effect. Her hand slipped lower, over the now wet cotton of Katie's sleep shorts.

Katie let out a gasp as she felt Liv's hand grasp her. "Yes," she managed to rasp out.

Liv let her go and backed off her, leaving her body in a state of shock at the absence of the touch. "Well all that is mine now, and you can't have her."

Katie's eyes, now rimming with anger, shot up at Olivia's. Her breathing regulated and her jaw jutted out to the side. She knew she had just been played to make a point and she wasn't all too happy about it. She walked past Olivia and grabbed a robe. She threw it on and stormed out of the room.

Olivia watched her with a satisfied smile, until she heard Alex roll over in the bed.

"Wow," Alex said sitting up. "That was one hell of a performance that I thought I was about to have to intervene on."

Liv smiled and sat down on the bed next to Alex. She leaned in and cupped her face as she kissed her passionately on the lips. "You know you're my one and only," Liv said between fervent kisses. "You're all mine."

Alex's eyes got wider as she nodded. "Oh I know, but that still doesn't mean I don't need a cold shower right now."

Olivia tilted her head to the side and let her hand drift down Alex's body. She leaned in and kissed Alex's neck and sucked on her ear before whispering, "The shower has hot water too."

Alex wasted little time before throwing back the sheets and climbing into the shower with Olivia.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

A little later on that morning, Alex was headed to work while Olivia and Riley still slept soundly in the bed. Katie had never come home that night and Alex was only slightly worried, but figured she had found someplace else to crash for the night.

This was her first true day at work, and she was ready to begin her work without any distractions. She adjusted the glasses on her face and began her ascent up the escalator to her office. She said hello to a few people she had met the day before and had waved to Judge Donnelly as she passed her office.

Alex sat down in the chair at her new desk and glanced about the room. It was a cozy office, but rich mahogany bookcases filled one wall with books on international law and crime, most of which Alex had read before. Two leather chairs sat opposite her desk, a welcoming seat for guests. She sat her briefcase down and pulled out the picture of her in The Congo with Habika and the orphanage directors. She sat the frame on her desk, a reminder of why she was here and then she opened her laptop.

Not even an hour passed before she was interrupted with a knock on the door. "Come in," she beckoned without looking up.

"Good morning Alex," a male voice said.

It was a voice she knew. She sat her pen down and slowly lifted her head from her work. She was right; it was who she thought it was. "Well, my time here just keeps getting better and better doesn't it." She didn't hide her apprehension or sarcasm. "What are you doing here Pierce?"

He walked into the room, followed by Katie who seemed to have dressed herself in a pair of his black slacks and a white button up. They fit her pretty well since he was a small framed guy, so not very many people would notice.

_So that's where she went last night, _Alex thought.

The two of them sat down in the chairs facing Alex's desk.

"Well," Pierce began, "I'm the supervisor over the team Katie leads, and when I heard you were here I thought I'd stop by. Besides," he said looking over at Katie and then back to Alex, "I'm told my son is very handsome."


	9. Chapter 9: I'm Here Now

Chapter 9: I'm Here Now

**A/N: So you can check out my profile for a link to the condo/apartment that I am having Liv and Alex rent during their stay in Holland. I'm a visual person so of course I had to apartment search! Well, after this chapter I plan on jumping ahead about a year or so. Enjoy! And don't forget to review! They make me happy! And you can thank LiziJ1987 for the British Slang. ^-^ (oh and btw we started coauthoring a story together called sacrifice our pen name is BehindThierEyes)**

"My son is very handsome," Alex said as she laid her glasses down on the table. "That's something you would know if you had ever tried to contact us before."

Pierce shifted in his seat. "Well I'm here now."

"That you are," Alex conceded, "But that doesn't come close for making up for the time you already missed."

"See, this is why I never bloody called! I knew you'd act like this." Pierce got up from the chair and started to pace the small office. He had one hand at his hip and the other pressed to his forehead.

Alex ignored Pierce's vi for sympathy and instead turned toward Katie. "So what brings you along? Please tell me you're not sleeping with him too." Alex tilted her head in the direction of the still pacing Pierce who only paused slightly at her words.

Katie gave a small chuckle and eyed Pierce. "Well I may be a bit knackered, but not by that much. Our relationship is quite chummy. He's not good for a lot of things, but he is a good boss and he's about the only friend I have left."

Alex raised an eyebrow slightly and then Pierce decided he had found words after all.

"I want to see my son Alex." He stopped pacing and placed his hands squarely on the front of her desk and he leaned over it trying to emanate the demanding presence that he didn't own in the room right then.

Alex studied him as he stood there staring at her, but a stare down wasn't going to bar her discretion. She didn't like him anymore than the day she told him she was pregnant. He didn't care then and he certainly doesn't care now. "Tell me, Pierce, what exactly is this about?" she said. "You showed no interest before and now all of a sudden you show up, demanding to see your son. I just don't get it. Have you suddenly realized what an asshole of a father you've been?"

Pierce clenched his fists and grunted as he collapsed back into the chair. "Yes. Yes I realize what a terrible father I've been and I feel simply ghastly about it." He looked down at the floor as he spoke and then he brought his eyes back up to meet Alex's. "I want to make it up to him . . . I want to make it up to you."

Alex could see the seeming sincerity in his eyes and hear it in his voice.

"Please," Pierce begged his hands now coming together in a prayer like position. "I would be chuffed to bits if I got to see him."

"For god's sake Alexandra," Katie said, "give the guy a chance."

Alex eyed Katie and then Pierce. Her arms were crossed and she sat leaned back in her chair. "Let me think about it," she said softly.

Pierce gave a slight nod of his head, "Very well then. I guess we should be off now." He stood and looked to Katie who stood up to follow him.

"Um, wait. Katie, can I have a word with you privately?" Alex asked.

Pierce nodded and walked out the office. He closed the door behind him as Katie once again took her seat and faced Alex.

"What is it Alex?" Katie asked politely.

Alex sat forward and looked up slightly as she asked, "Has he really changed? Does he really want to meet Riley and be a better father?"

Katie sighed, "I don't know . . . I mentioned it last night and he just got really quiet. He asked how you were doing . . . and if Olivia was still around." Her name came out a bit begrudgingly.

Alex smiled to herself at the mention of Olivia even though it obviously irritated Katie. "About that, I do trust you Katie, but after last night's performance I'm not sure what to believe."

"I'm just here to do my job. I don't want to get between you two." Katie eyed Alex. They had had a very intense and passionate relationship when they dated over four years ago. In the three months they were together they had learned to read each other's clues. Their body language remained the same even after all these years. Her language this time told Alex she was serious about what she said. Katie got up from her chair and made her way to the office door. She grabbed the knob but before she left she turned toward Alex her eyes slightly downcast but still focused on Alex. "I just had to know I wouldn't be missing another chance, but I see what you two have and I envy you for it." She let her eyes rest fully on Alex as she said utterly truthfully, "Don't let her go Alex, ever." With that she turned to leave and left Alex sitting stunned at her desk.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

When Alex's day at work was over, she began to pack her small briefcase and headed for the door. When she was right outside the front door, Olivia and Riley were waiting for her.

"Mommy!" Riley exclaimed as he enthusiastically jumped off a bench and ran toward Alex with unabated eagerness. He gripped her leg with a force all his own, hugging it fiercely. She wrapped her arms around the back of his head.

"I love you too," she said as he let go and then ran off again to resume his playing.

Olivia walked over to Alex her hands naturally in her pockets. Then they reached around Alex's waist and she pulled her in for a kiss. "We didn't want to disturb you while you were working," Liv said in explanation for why they were waiting outside.

"You're never a distraction," Alex whispered into Olivia's ear.

Olivia smiled and pulled back, "Well you're always a distraction for me."

"Fair enough," Alex said and then she pulled Liv back into her embrace and nuzzled her nose close to Olivia's neck and admitted, "I can't think straight when I'm around you."

Liv pushed back a strand of Alex's hair and whispered, "I know."

"Look momma!" Riley yelled from his position hunched over and bent at the knees. He pointed toward a flower in the garden. "I see a bug!"

Olivia walked over to where Riley was squatted and checked out the object of his attention. "That sure is a bug, a big nasty one."

"A big, big, gigantic bug!" Riley said as he skipped back toward Alex. "I saw lots of bugs today," he said as he tugged on Alex's arm.

"You did?" Alex asked him, "So tell me what all you and mommy did today."

"Well," his eyes got big and he retold her about his day, "We rode bikes and the train and looked at bugs and ants and ate at the stores and we saw our condor and we talked to Uncle Elliot and we rode the train again and now we see you!"

Alex's eyebrows rose in confusion, "We have a condor? Like, a dinosaur?" she asked.

Riley chuckled, "You silly mommy, dinosaurs are 'stinked."

Olivia grabbed Alex's hand and began leading her back to the train. Riley skipped ahead as they walked. "Well, I went and did a little house shopping and I found us a condo that I think we'd like. It's ready for immediate move in and comes slightly furnished. You want to go see it?"

"Yes, anything to get us out of that hotel room with Katie. Tell me how did you manage to find us a condo and do all that sightseeing with Riley in one day?"

Olivia chuckled to herself, "Are you kidding? With all this free time I don't know what to do with myself! I'm not very used to not having a job. I need to find something to do; maybe they need some security detail at the ICC?"

The three of them got on the train and it soon took off in the direction of the condo. "I'm sure I could put in a good word for you," Alex said. "Which brings up the question about who'll be watching after Riley," Alex took the opportunity she saw, "It might not be so bad for Riley to have another man in his life."

Olivia shrugged, "I'm sure we could find a manny."

Alex bit her bottom lip and decided to test the waters further and see what Olivia thought of the idea, so she whispered so Riley wouldn't hear, "Pierce is in town and he wants to meet Riley."

Olivia dropped Alex's hand and had to turn slightly to keep her anger in check. She ran her fingers through her hair, a sign of nervousness. "I don't like that idea Alex."

"Look, I know this is all a lot happening really soon, but it might be the time for change all around," Alex said in a hushed and hurried manner.

Olivia eyed Alex she knew she didn't mean a change in their relationship but it still felt like abandonment, like she wasn't enough. "Riley and I need to go back to the states. If you like this condo, then Elliot said he knew someone who we could sublet our apartment in New York to for the year or so, but Riley and I will need to get our stuff."

Alex knew the change of subject was a non direct way of Olivia dealing with things. Alex knew Liv wasn't ready and was instantly sorry she'd mentioned Pierce. Well, he might be here, but so was Olivia, and she was determined to make this work out between them. So she dropped the subject.

Alex knew she'd like the condo before they even got there. Olivia knew her well and knew how to pick a good and safe place to live. So she wasn't surprised when they got out at the stop in Wessanaar, one of the higher end neighborhoods. The condo she found was right above some small shops. It was a small, but modern two bedroom apartment with a fireplace and a nice balcony. They signed the lease that night and were immediately allowed to move in.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Alex lay in bed that night with Olivia cuddled up next to her. She stared up at the ceiling as she thought about everything that had transpired over the last four years. It was all a jumbled mess. Yet there had only been one constant in her life and that was Olivia. She knew whatever Olivia said, she would be ok with, and she would do. And if that meant keeping Pierce back then she would.

She rolled her body so that she could watch Olivia's sleeping form; she let her arm rest under Olivia's neck and her other hand wrapped around her and gently played in her hair as she whispered, "I'm never going to run away from you again. My heart is all yours, baby. You hold me down; you're the anchor of my ship and there's no place I'd rather be than in your arms. So whatever you decide about Riley, I'll go with because he's all yours too. I want him to always only be yours and mine."

Olivia gently parted her lips as she kept her eyes closed and whispered back, "I know I was supposed to be asleep for that, but thank you." She opened her eyes to find Alex's and she did.

"I was a wreck before you." Alex said, "I thought I knew what I was doing, but I was all over the place in the name of one thing or the other, but now I have you here. You keep me steady and I never want to lose you."

Alex suddenly sat up in the bed and Olivia did as well because she was now concerned. Alex turned toward Olivia and grasped Liv's hands in her own. She looked her in the eyes and said, "Olivia, I can't imagine ever living without you. I love you so much it hurts." She looked around the room trying to find her words, desperately seeking those which seemed to suddenly evacuate her body and she couldn't think of what to say next, but she continued anyways, "I know these things are supposed to be well thought out and romantic, but . . ." She looked back to Olivia, "Olivia Benson, will you marry me?"

Tears caught in Olivia's throat at the sudden burst of _the _question. She brought her hands up to cup Alex's vulnerable face. "There is nothing and no one in the world that would ever keep me from telling you yes right now. Yes Alexandra Cabot," Liv said grinning from ear to ear, "I will marry you."


	10. Chapter 10: I know you will Stop Them

Chapter 10 I Know You Will Stop Them

**A/N: Sorry this took so long again, I got really sick and being the strong minded one I am, I refused to rest and made myself sicker (hey I couldn't miss gay pride weekend!) Anyways, so now that I'm able to string more than three words together, enjoy the next chapter and don't forget to review! **

"_Alex, why did you come here?" it was Habikka's voice she heard, young and transparent. Alex rolled over in her sleeping bag, the ruff ground penetrated the thin material. The girl's eyes sought out her own and Alex found the deep color mesmerizing and intense, curious even._

"_The men who did this have to pay for what they've done. What happened to you and your family was not an act of war; it was the act of violent men, and I have every intent to stop them."_

_Habika smiled, "I know you will stop them."_

_There was a loud blast and a whizzing noise. A bullet flew into the house, shattering the window and spraying glass. _

_Alex was standing outside, there was fire all around her; the woods were aglow and closing in on her. "Habikka? Where are you?" _

_Another shot, a scream. Alex ran into the house. There were three men holding down a little girl; they were on top of her. "Help, my daughter," the mother screamed. Another girl huddled in the corner._

"_Run to the car." Alex was back outside and gun shots were blasting in the background, illuminating the night sky. The jeep was close by and she was running towards it. _

_There was a shotgun blast, a scream. "Mommy!"_

_Alex spun around, "Riley?" she called out but couldn't see him. He was calling her she had to find him. People were running past her. Where did all these people come from? Why were they all bleeding? One shoved her as he ran by and she fell to the ground. Then she saw him. A small form near a burning tree, he just stood there and then vanished into the woods._

"_Get in the car now." It was a man's voice again. Alex was in the back of a jeep, but her arms were empty. _

"_Wait, where's Habikka?" She looked down again and the child was in her arms. Her eyes were blank and blood rushed out of her mouth and out of her bullet wound. Alex rocked her, "No, no, not again. I couldn't save you this time, baby." There was more blood. Alex looked down, it was her blood seeping from her shoulder. _

_She clutched at her chest. Olivia called to her, "no, no, no, no, no, no sweetheart can you hear me?"_

"Sweetheart, can you hear me?" Olivia gently shook Alex.

Alex bolted awake in the bed gasping for air as she looked around their bedroom. She closed her eyes as her breathing began to regulate. Olivia pulled her in against her shoulder and gently rocked her. Alex cried into Olivia's shoulder. All her hard work and it came down to this day.

Olivia clung to Alex and rubbed her back. "Shh, it's going to be ok," she whispered into her ear.

"Riley was there this time. He called out for me but I couldn't reach him, and then he was gone."

Olivia continued to rub Alex's back in soothing circles. "He's safe here. Nothing and no one can hurt him."

Alex pulled out of Liv's embrace and flipped her legs out from under the covers and over the side of the bed. She rubbed her forehead, trying to erase away the painful memories and sleep, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get anymore rest that morning. She climbed out of the bed and went to her closet and pulled out the outfit she had set aside the night before.

Olivia sat on the edge of the bed and watched Alex as she quietly changed. The blonde's back was full of tension, and Liv could tell just by her movements that she was not really prepared for this day. When Alex was done dressing, she slipped on her glasses that had been left at the nightstand. Olivia scooped in behind Alex and wrapped her arms around her waist as Alex turned back towards the full length mirror that hung on the inside of the closet door.

Alex let out a deep sigh as she looked over her outfit for the day. It was her tailor made midnight black power suit with white undershirt. Olivia rested her chin on Alex's shoulder as she too looked at the appearance of her fiancé in the mirror. "You look beautiful," Olivia whispered in her ear.

A small smile almost crept into the creases of Alex's mouth, but she kept her demeanor poised. "I need to look like I can win," Alex said instead of accepting the compliment.

Olivia caught Alex's eyes in the mirror and she hugged her in tighter. "You've done what you can and what happens next is no longer up to you. If the verdict is guilty, then you've surpassed everything that anyone here can hope for."

"And if the verdict comes back not guilty?" Alex asked still skeptical.

"Then the world isn't ready, but you've fulfilled your duty. Now," Olivia spun Alex around so that she was no longer facing the mirror but now faced Olivia, "no matter what the outcome is, I'm here for you." Olivia cupped Alex's face in her hands, "We'll soon be packing all this up and we'll be headed back to New York."

This time Alex let her shoulders relax and the tension began to subside as a small smile found its way to her lips.

Olivia let her hands fall away, but a sly smile crept into her eyes as she said, "Which means, in less than two weeks, I can call you my wife, my beautiful, powerful, sexy, and sultry wife."

Alex blushed and this time she moved closer to Olivia and planted a gentle kiss on her neck. "And in less than two weeks, not only do I get to cal you my wife, but you get to find out what else I have planned for you."

Olivia laughed and playfully pushed Alex away, "Alex, you know I hate surprises."

"I know, but it'll be worth it, I promise."

"Mommy?" a little voice interrupted them. Riley stood in the doorway of their bedroom rubbing one of his eyes. His dark brown hair had gotten longer and was in desperate need of a trim as it stuck straight up on one side. He blinked a few times and then ran and grabbed Alex's leg.

Alex squatted down so she could be eye level with her son. He always slept through everything which was why she was now so concerned. "What is it Riley?"

He rubbed the side of his head. "I hit my head on the floor," he said, his lips in full pout mode as his eyes began to glisten with tears.

Alex hugged him tightly, "Well, when we get back to New York, we'll have to get you a big boy bed so that doesn't happen anymore."

Riley smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Then he looked back at Olivia and laughed like he knew something Liv didn't. "Ok," he chuckled.

"Hey now," Olivia said, putting her hands on her hips, "Why do I have the feeling that you two are planning something?"

Alex eyed Riley, a silent warning to keep his mouth shut. So he spun around to Olivia and clamped his mouth shut and mumbled inaudible words as he kept his mouth tightly sealed.

"You two are devious!" Olivia said putting her hands on her hips.

"I know!" Riley laughed. "But first mommy has to win against the bad guys!"

Alex stood back up and brushed her pant suit free of wrinkles. "Mommy hopes she wins against the bad guys," she corrected him.

"I know you will stop them," Riley said as he skipped back out of the room.

Alex stared after him as he skipped out of the room. Those had been the exact words Habikka had said to her. "Sometimes he sounds much older than a four year old," Alex said.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

A knock came at the door of Alex's office. "Come in," she said without looking up from her paperwork.

Pierce walked into the room and casually sat down in the chairs in front of her desk. "The perimeter is secured; we shouldn't have any problem with the bloody picketers."

Alex let out a grunt as she continued writing in her notebook. "You would think people understood what was going on over there, but they just don't."

"They only see what they want to see, or what they think they see."

Alex put her pen down and glanced up at Pierce. The past year had been a series of ups and downs especially with this man. He had shown back up in their lives and with much hesitation Alex had finally allowed him to meet Riley. After a while it became natural and all animosity began to slowly subside until they had a good work relationship as well as out of work relationship. He wasn't as bad of a father as she had expected him to be, but he also had learnt to keep his distance, and Alex was thankful of that. "Will we have a problem when we move the defendant?"

"None whatsoever; he shall be in the capable hands of Katie and myself, and I do believe Olivia is heading up the security outside."

Alex smiled and looked back down at her notes, "Well I guess I have nothing to worry about then."

Pierce shifted in his seat. "Alex, I wanted to ask you something . . ." he scratched at his goatee that he had begun to grow. "I want to take Riley back to London with me, at least for a week."

Alex didn't even glance up from her work, "We've been over this Pierce. Olivia and I are moving back to New York after this trial and Riley is coming with us, it's not up for discussion."

"Come on Alex, it'll only be for a week. He's my son too you know."

"You can come visit him in New York," Alex said and looked back up at him. "Whenever you want, you can come visit him, but he's staying with us."

Pierce abruptly stood from his chair and walked to the door of Alex's office. "You'll regret this Alexandra. A boy needs his father."

Alex put her pen down. "All he needs is loving parents, and he has a set already."

As he turned once again to walk out of the office, he mumbled under his breath, "We'll see about that."

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

"No!" Riley yelled at the top of his lungs. "I not want celery for lunch!" He crossed his arms and looked away from the plate that was set in front of him. "Momma wouldn't make me eats it!"

"I think she would," Joe said as he placed a slice of buttered bread next to the celery and roast beef slices on Riley's plate.

"I not have to listen to you cause we leaving next week for New York." Riley said obstinate as he continued to look away from his plate.

"Well your moms put me in charge until then. So, why don't you eat this and then we can go play some basketball or something fun?" Joe sat down at the table and took a bite of his sandwich.

"I not want to play with you. I not like you anymore."

"Because I'm making you eat celery?"

"You're mean I want my mommy!" Riley's voice got angry again and took on tension. He hopped down from his chair and began walking towards the door. He sat down and slipped on his sandals.

"Hey now, we can go see her after lunch, and after you change out of your pajamas." Joe said, still sitting at the table. Over the last year, he had gotten used to Riley's infrequent temper tantrums. The boy could throw a mean fit, but he always calmed down eventually.

"Nope, my mommy needs me today." He stood back up and crossed his arms. Riley stuck his tongue out at Joe and before he could be stopped, he quickly spun around and unlocked the door. He threw it open and ran out.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

The caravan arrived at the front of the ICC building. Katie got out the walkie and spoke into it. "We're in position."

A large crowd had formed in front of the ICC. Some people were there to support the ICC and others where there to picket and riot. Tape had been put up and formed a perimeter. It kept the rioters back and separated from the others. Olivia stood at the front of the building, surveying the crowd. She saw the black SUVs' pull up and park at the curb. The crowd was parted down the middle and officers stood intermittently along the line to keep the peace. Olivia briskly walked toward the SUV.

Olivia opened the car door. The defendant came out head first followed by Katie who held on to his handcuffed wrists. "Come on," Olivia said. They began to walk between the parted crowd when a fight broke out on one side.

The police barrier broke and a flood of people began to poor through the opening. Several officers got out their riot sticks and began to try to pummel them back, but they broke through regardless.

Olivia and Katie began to walk faster away from the rowdy crowd. Olivia got out her walkie, "We have a breach in the south line. We need backup, now!"

More people began to break out of the line and soon both sides of the barrier where broken. The three of them got trapped in a sea of people.

"Olivia, watch out!" Katie cried. A rioter was headed right towards them waving a bat. Olivia pulled her gun and pointed it at him.

"Get back." Olivia yelled. Her stance was fine tuned, her eyes trained on the man rushing toward them. She saw the chaos around them out of her peripheral vision, but focused in on the threat. "Put it down and get out of my way."

He slowly lowered the bat to the ground and stepped to the side. Olivia kept her gun trained on him as they inched slowly past him. Katie pushed the defendant forward until she passed Olivia who still had her gun trained on the threat.

Then Olivia heard a grunt. She spun around to see Katie flying backwards as she hit the ground hard. "Bloody bastard! He hit me!" Katie yelled as she held a hand to her face where the defendant slugged her with cuffed wrists. Olivia bent down to make sure she was ok. "Don't wait for me, go after him." Katie yelled as she quickly rolled over and got back onto her knees.

Olivia took off in a sprint in the direction she thought the defendant was headed. The crowd moved in around her, blocking her view. There was yelling coming from all different directions and soon she lost sight of him. She struggled through the crowd until she breached the outside of it.

Olivia looked around, there were too many exits for him to take; there were too many options. She needed more officers, but they were all busy with the crowd. Where was Katie? Where was Pierce?

"OLIVIA!"

She heard a terrified scream in the distance. All time stood still and blood rushed to her ears. She began a sprint towards the bay. Her heart thumped louder in her chest. The pumping sound drowned out all other thoughts, her legs couldn't move fast enough. She knew that voice, it was Alex's.


	11. Chapter 11: Do You Trust Me

Chapter 11: Do You Trust Me

**5 minutes before the riot broke out**

The train came to a stop right in front of the ICC. Riley had taken this same train several times to meet with his moms at work so he knew the route. He took a quick glance around the train, looking for any last minute signs of Joe and stepped out.

His bare feet padded across the hot concrete in the mid afternoon sun. Some people eyed him funny so he scooted close to a family and pretended he was with them, the prying eyes soon fell away. He saw a large crowd in front of him; they were yelling and waving signs back and forth. He looked up at the tall glass buildings. His mommy was in there.

Riley slipped into the crowd, his small stature made it easy for him to get to the front of the line as he weaved in and out of legs. A black SUV pulled up to the curb and the crowd around him got loud. Someone stepped on his toe and he howled in pain as he fell to the ground grasping his foot and rocking, but no one could hear him above the screaming crowd.

"Keep back," an officer yelled at the crowd.

Riley rolled over onto his fours and began to crawl closer to the officer; surely he would know where his momma was. Then he saw her, his mom was walking with Katie and some other guy in handcuffs. He began to crawl under the police barrier when he heard a loud shout. The barrier fell and people started rushing forward all around him.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

A cell phone rang, "Is the crowd ready?"

"Waiting for your order," said the man on the other end of the line.

"Order is a go, set him free . . . and . . . We have no need for Olivia Benson. Consider her a liability"

"Got it, the barrier is being breached as we speak."

There was a click on the other end of the line, and the cell phone went off.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Alex's door to her office suddenly swung open and a rushed Pierce flew into the room. "We've got problems; you better come see it for yourself."

Alex quickly rose from her desk and rushed out of her office. They walked the short distance down the hall to the main window facing the front of the building. There they could see the riot taking place down below. Alex gasped when she saw the police line break and several rioters piled through. "I've got to get down there."

"Alexandra, wait," Pierce grabbed Alex by her elbow, "it's not safe."

Alex yanked her arm away from his fierce grip. "Get your hands off me," she snarled at him and stepped in closer, her eyes wild with threat. "This is my case and I will not sit by while a riot is going on outside." She turned and walked the hallway toward the elevators.

"I wouldn't go that way if I were you," he yelled after her. His hands stuck in his pockets, "You could get stuck," he said as he watched Alex pause and an almost imperceptible grin formed in the side of his mouth.

Alex nodded and then headed for the back of the building. In emergencies such as riots or fires, the lobby elevators were locked down. The only way down the forty stories was either a trek down the stairs or the back elevator that only opened with security key card. Pierce followed after her. He swiped his card and the two of them stepped into the elevator.

"I don't understand how the police line was breached," Alex said as she crossed her arms and waited for the elevator to reach the ground floor.

Pierce looked at her out of the side of his eyes. She stood in front of him, arms slung impatiently at her side, completely unaware of what he was reaching for until she felt it. "I didn't want to have to do this, I really didn't. I thought a nice talk would help us clear some things up, but I can see that words don't always work with you."

Alex went rigid and allowed herself to close her eyes briefly. _Take a deep breath, you've survived this before._ The cold steel could be felt through her jacket; it was pressed against her lower back just to the right of her spine. Slowly, she began to spin so that she was facing Pierce. Her eyes glossed with a hate that hid her fear as her heart beat faster. The gun was now pushed closer into her abdomen. "What are you going to do Pierce? Shoot me here in the lobby? Do you think Olivia will let you get away with this?"

Pierce cocked an eyebrow. "Olivia is being taken care of as we speak, and you are going to walk right outside this building and go where I tell you to. The way I see it, you will be so distraught over your lover's death that you felt you had no alternative. When you are both out of the picture, it's only natural that Riley would come to stay with me." The elevator door dinged and opened into the lobby.

The lobby was sprawling with activity. Several rioters had breached the inner perimeter and employees rushed in and out among them as the security guards tried to keep everyone back. Several windows were being smashed and a potted plant fell to the floor as a rioter pushed a guard into a table.

"Now turn around and walk," Pierce growled as he hugged her in close to keep the firearm from showing. He grabbed her waist with one hand and held the gun on her with the other. Awkwardly they stepped out the side entrance. That's when Alex saw someone headed directly toward Olivia swinging a bat above his head. Pierce stopped to make sure Alex saw what was about to happen.

"Olivia, watch out!" Katie cried. A rioter was headed right towards them waving a bat. Olivia pulled her gun and pointed it at him.

"Get back." Olivia yelled. Her stance was fine tuned, her eyes trained on the man rushing toward them. She saw the chaos around them out of her peripheral vision, but focused in on the threat. "Put it down and get out of my way."

He slowly lowered the bat to the ground and stepped to the side. Olivia kept her gun trained on him as they inched slowly past him. Katie pushed the defendant forward until she passed Olivia who still had her gun trained on the threat.

Katie glanced up when she heard a yell, _Alex?_ That's when it happened, her guard was down and she felt a blow land on her cheek sending her sprawling backwards as she hit the ground. "Bloody bastard! He hit me!" Katie yelled as she held a hand to her face where the defendant slugged her with cuffed wrists. Olivia bent down to make sure she was ok. "Don't wait for me, go after him." Katie yelled.

Olivia took off in a sprint.

"Momma!" Riley ran towards where Olivia had just been. He glanced around feverishly when he saw her dart away. "Momma!" he cried out once again, but his voice was lost in the crowd. Everyone was still running all around him so he headed closer to the last place Olivia had been. That's when he saw Katie and he began running towards her. She was still on the ground but was rolling onto her knees when he saw another man with a bat about to hit her. "NO!" Riley yelled this time angry because he couldn't find either of his moms, and all these people were in his way. He was not having a very good day and he was not about to let his Aunt Katie get hit over the head with a baseball bat.

With a fierceness that matched Olivia's and a determination as strong as Alex's, Riley ran up to the man with the bat and gave him a karate chop to the back of the knee. He went down instantly, clutching the back of his leg. "You stay away now you hear!" Riley yelled as he stood towered over the man.

Katie quickly stood up and spun around, she hadn't seen Riley take this grown up man down, but she knew he was perfectly capable. She also realized her life had probably just been saved by a four year old. Without wasting a moment, she scooped Riley and the bat up in her arms and headed into the building.

Pierce held on tightly to a thrashing Alex. "OLIVIA!" she yelled as he drug her away from the building. "OLIVIA!"

"Shut up! Shut up Alexandra or I'm going to put a bullet right through your head" Pierce continued to struggle against Alex as they headed toward the bay. He picked her up by the waste to keep her walking, but her heels and tall stature made it difficult for him to maneuver her. When they got behind a building, he threw her up against the wall, smashing her face into the concrete and pointing the gun at her temple. "I said, shut up," his voice lowered an octave and Alex instantly obeyed. This was not the voice of a reasonable man and she could not let Riley end up in his hands.

Alex stiffened but stilled her body and her mouth.

Pierce kept the gun pointed at her head but reached behind his back with his other hand for his handcuffs. He slapped them on Alex's wrists. "Now walk, and fast."

She did as he commanded and they made their way down a back alley until they came to an opening at the waterfront. "Keep moving," she was commanded. She headed toward the bay and to the only bridge within two miles. The bridge was long and about forty five feet above water at its tallest point, but it was still under construction, and therefore easy hiding.

Olivia kept running, she hadn't seen where they had gone or even who had Alex, but she didn't stop running. She ran between an alley that looked like a good escape route, running purely on instinct and she followed it to the bay. Water stretched on for miles and she couldn't see anyone. She quickly ran to the edge of the water and scanned the coastline looking for any signs of life. That's when she saw it, one of Alex's heels.

Large plastic sheets dangled over scaffolding. Buckets of dried paint littered the floor and bags of concrete littered the floor. Alex continued moving forward, urged by the will to survive and the presence of a gun to her back. "Where are we going?"

"After I get a call letting me know Olivia has been taken care of, you are going for a little jump off the bridge." Pierce stepped over debris, keeping the pace fast but maneuverable.

Alex's hands were still cuffed behind her back. Every once in a while she caught a glimpse of the water below her. "I'll survive the fall."

Pierce laughed, "Not with a bullet in your head."

Alex kept moving forward, "that doesn't sound like suicide to me." Then she abruptly stopped and turned around. Pierce came to a screeching halt five inches from her face. "There's no way you'll get away with this; and there's no way you are taking my son."

He reached out and spun her around, causing her to stumble on a two by four. She caught her footing and he yelled, "keep walking Alexandra." They were coming to the edge of the construction. Few signs acknowledged that this was the end. The bridge just suddenly fell off into the bay. The crystal blue water shown beneath them, the sun glinted off the water's surface.

Alex was standing at the edge looking down, but was too afraid to jump. The breeze was strong up there. Her hair flew behind her with the wind. The only noises they heard were that of rustling plastic. Time stood frozen in that moment of cold dread where you either accept fate or fight it. Pierce stood behind her as she looked out over the bay. The gun was pointed at her head still, but she couldn't feel its presence. She felt so alone up there, abandoned by the world and without power. Jumping was her last measure of survival. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath and was about to rush it when a hand was placed forcibly on her shoulder and she was told to turn around.

"Don't move another muscle." Pierce kept the gun pointed at her forehead. "Or maybe you'd like to be shot here again?" He pointed the gun to her heart. "After all, it is your heart that is broken after Olivia dies."

"At least I have a heart." Alex retorted, calmly but with determination as she stared into his hardened face.

"Yes, that came as a surprise to all of us actually. Once you had Riley, you did lose your edge."

"I never lost my edge."

"That's to be debated," Pierce said as he dug in his pocket for his cell. He flipped it open and dialed the most recent number. "Has she been taken care of?" he asked. There was a pause and a grunt of frustration as he quickly hung up his phone and shoved it back in his pocket. He lifted his gun off Alex and let out a short yell as he spun about the area, searching it.

Olivia heard an echo through the hanging plastic. She kept her gun pointed and her back up against the scaffolding as she moved about. She could only see a few feet in front of her at a time, but now she knew which direction to head. She picked up her pace as she darted around the ladders and plastic and all the buckets and wood.

Then Olivia came to an opening. With a quick glance around the area, she spotted Alex, and her heart fell to the bottom of her chest. She swallowed deep and glanced around the area for the kidnapper as she made her way closer to Alex.

Alex was standing on a piece of metal that jutted out over the edge of the bridge. In her mouth was a piece of rope that gagged her and hand cuffs that kept her hands tight behind her back.

Olivia cautiously made her way closer to Alex. "Alex, baby, can you step off that ledge?" Olivia asked, again looking around quickly and inching closer to Alex as she did.

Alex shook her head no and tears began to fall down her face. She pleaded with her eyes for Olivia not to come any closer, but Liv didn't get the message. She walked right into his trap.

"Set the gun down slowly." Pierce edged out from behind a beam and steadied his gun to the back of Olivia's head.

Olivia's eyes got wider as she realized who was behind the voice. Her arms went out and away from her sides. She held the gun out and slowly squatted as she sat her gun down on the floor. "Pierce, why are you doing this?" She asked, her back still to him. She looked out at Alex, their eyes meeting, telling each other everything with a single glance. Every "I love you", every caress, every hummed whisper, every gentle knowing glance passed between them. Olivia didn't take her eyes off Alex. "Do you trust me?" she whispered.

Alex blinked her eyes once for yes.

With that, Olivia slowly turned around, facing their captor.

"Riley is my son too, and you can't keep him from me. I know how this would have ended, you say I can see him whenever, but when it comes down to it, you two don't want me in his life."

"That's not true," Olivia said, trying to diffuse the situation. "A boy needs his father. Riley needs you. We want you to be in his life."

Pierced cocked the gun to the side, "Don't flatter yourself, you're not that good of a liar."

Olivia raised her eyebrows quickly, "look, there are other ways besides killing your son's moms."

"No, Olivia, I tried that already, and I'm sick and tired of your BULLSHIT!" he yelled. "Now slowly turn around and walk to the edge."

"Oh come on," Olivia huffed, "at least have the balls to look me in the face when you shoot me." Olivia kept her hands up as she backed toward the ledge.

"I was going to kill you first," he said as he pointed the gun to Olivia, "but now I think I'm going to frame you for a murder suicide. Very Shakespearean don't you think?"

"Alex," Olivia said barely above a whisper.

Pierce's aim slowly moved from Olivia to Alex, and his grip tightened on the trigger. This was the moment. He did not hold back.

"Jump, now!" Olivia yelled.

Alex turned and leapt off the plank.

A gunshot blasted into the open air where Alex would have been, followed in succession by another round, but this one not fired from Pierce's gun.

Pierce fell to the floor with a grunt and a loud thud. His gun hit the floor and fell far from his grasp. He had taken a gunshot to the abdomen.

Katie inched closer, her gun still pointed at Pierce. Then she glanced up at Olivia, "I got him, go after her." Katie reached behind her back and cuffed Pierce. The bullet had been a through and through and he would survive, but she would cause him a lot of pain before they got to a hospital.

Olivia nodded at Katie, turned, and dove off the bridge after Alex.


	12. Chapter 12: I'll Never Let You Go

Chapter 12: I'll Never Let You Go.

Olivia turned and jumped feet first off the 40 story bridge. Her arms flew above her head as she surrendered nothing to the wind or the fall. She sliced into the water, her toes pointed and her body following a swift downward motion into the cold water that made her whole body ache. The fall took her deep into the water and she struggled to the surface, pausing only long enough to take a deep breath before plunging again down below.

Olivia opened her eyes and swam downward. The water stung, but she kept them open looking for even the smallest sign of movement, of life, of Alex. She swam down far and still saw nothing. She clawed at the water searching, but her hands met only the water. She then had to surface once again for air. She took in three deep breaths and frantically looked around the surface. No one was on shore and no one was splashing at the surface.

She took another plunge into the cold water, her body not registering the temperature, only finding the need, the adrenaline to keep her searching. _Come on Alex, don't give up on me. _Every second that passed Alex grew further from Olivia's grip, but Liv didn't stop fighting. She tore through the water as though she were the one drowning, because she knew that without Alex, she would drown.

Her breath was waning and she was about to resurface, when she spotted the briefest glimpse of blonde hair. She dove further down into the water; her lungs begging to feel like collapsing, but Alex was right there within her grasp.

Alex wasn't moving, her mouth was still gagged and her handcuffed hands had gotten caught on some metal debris from the bridge and she hadn't been able to untangle it. Olivia tugged at the cuffs, but they wouldn't budge. She tried to maneuver them off the metal but it had somehow gotten bent on there and wound tightly in Alex's attempt to free herself. Olivia began to panic for but a brief second before she reached and grabbed her handcuff keys. _Come on, work._ The key felt jammed; she kept working it as she let out her last bit of air. Then they broke free and Alex's hands were out of them.

Olivia grabbed Alex by her waist; her body limp in Liv's arms. At once, she began a frenzied swim upward as she pulled Alex with her. She kicked with all the strength she had left within her. Olivia broke the surface and took in several gasps of air, but Alex didn't. Olivia flipped Alex and grabbed her under the arms and tore off the gag as she back peddled to the shore. Her arms and legs began to go numb, exhausted by her effort, but still Alex wasn't breathing.

"They're over there!"

Distant shouting could be heard. Two onlookers dove into the water and soon Olivia felt Alex being swooped out of her arms at the same time she felt a shoulder helping her swim. _Wait, don't take her from me. _Olivia was too exhausted to fight or to say anything, but she wasn't ready to give up. They reached the shore where the water turned into mud and her legs barely obeyed her command.

Katie was standing nearby with an EMS team arriving just as their bodies reached the shore.

Olivia flung herself over Alex, frantically turning the blonde on her back with her head tilted back and to the side and then began performing CPR with the last amount of energy she had left. She pumped and pumped as the river water along with her tears fell onto Alex's cheek. Water gushed out of Alex's mouth but she remained unresponsive.

A litany of "no's" began to pour out of Olivia's mouth with each pump on Alex's chest. Then she felt herself being pulled off as the EMS team began the CPR. Katie was holding onto her, her arms wrapped around Olivia's chest, restraining her. Olivia fought her grip trying to get back to Alex, but Katie held onto her tightly, "let them do this Olivia," Katie said.

Olivia went limp as she watched the EMS team. "Alex baby, don't leave me. Come back to me, come back to us," Olivia said her voice but a tremor in the rush around them.

Then a faint quiver snaked through Alex's body. Then all at once, her body shuddered and a wet cough racked her body as she spit out the last bit of water and her eyes popped open frantically as she gasped for air.

Katie let Olivia go as the detective flung herself once more over Alex's body, this time looking into her eyes and rubbing the wet hair out of her face. "I thought I'd lost you for good this time."

A look of bewilderment passed over Alex's face as she looked up at Olivia. Then she collapsed back, her eyes darting closed for but a brief moment as she regained her normal breathing and she looked back up at Olivia. "I knew you'd come for me, I always knew you would."

"I almost let you drown." Olivia's words came out ragged and mixed with tears.

Alex reached up and wiped a tear off Olivia's cheek with her thumb, "I would have been shot in the head had I not jumped."

Olivia nodded, she knew this in her head, but somehow she still felt responsible.

"Come on," said Katie as she placed a gentle hand on Olivia's back. "We've got to get you two to a hospital."

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Several hours later, Alex and Olivia were headed back to the ICC. Nightfall had encased the city with darkness, but the streetlights lead the way to the building. Inside had all been cleaned up. There was no longer a sense of chaos as the few remaining employees left for the evening. It looked as though nothing had even happened there. They rode the elevator to Alex's floor, but when they got there, they headed into Judge Donnelly's Office.

"Mommy! Momma!" Riley shouted as he hopped off Elizabeth's lap and ran and hugged his moms.

Alex hugged Riley in tight. "Oh thank god you're safe!"

Elizabeth sat down the book she had been reading to him and joined the three of them on the other side of her desk. "He's quite the character he is. Did you know he took down a guy swinging a baseball bat?"

Olivia eyed Riley with a "you shouldn't have done that but I can't really be mad at you now" look, but then she smiled and scooped him up into her arms.

"You guys shoulda seen him! He was big, big, gy-normous! And he was about to hurt Aunt Katie so I kicked him down," said Riley a huge grin on his face.

"Well, we're proud of you son, but next time please, please, don't ever leave the house like that again," Alex begged Riley.

"Yes, mommy," Riley said, his eye's slightly downcast.

"I contacted Joe," said Elizabeth, "I let him know Riley was safe and that I'd be watching him until you two showed up. He was very upset and already had the locals called to help find Riley here, the poor guy, and he said it was all over a piece of celery!"

Riley shrugged, "I not likes it."

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Finally they were home. Alex drifted off into their bathroom and jumped into the shower as Olivia carried a sleepy Riley into his room and began to lull him off to sleep. She hummed him songs as she laid him down in bed and then made her way to her own bedroom.

Olivia sat down in a plush chair in their bedroom as she unlaced her shoes and kicked them to the side. The chair swiveled as she leaned back in it, thoroughly exhausted after the day's events. The hum of the shower in the distance began to calm her nerves and ease her tension.

Alex climbed out of the shower and drifted back into their bedroom wearing her white robe, her hair unbrushed, her stance completely spent as she walked over to where Olivia was sitting.

Olivia opened her eyes and gently grabbed Alex by the waist, pulling her down onto Olivia's lap. "I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you today."

Alex rested her head on Olivia's, draping her arms on top of the brunet's shoulders, and looking into her eyes. "I never want to be without you again. I was dumb to have ever come out here by myself in the first place, but I'm so glad you came after me."

Olivia's hands rested on Alex's lower back and her eyes fell to Alex's lips before she looked back into her eyes and said, "All that counts is the here and now. And right now," Olivia said as she leaned in and kissed the side of Alex's neck gingerly, "right now, we're here together; and believe me, I'm never going to let you go again." She accentuated her next words by kissing Alex's lips, "I love you baby." Liv's hands moved up Alex's back and to the front of her robe as she slid her hands underneath and gingerly pushed it down Alex's arms and off her body.

Olivia's hands reached up into Alex's tangled hair as she continued kissing her lips fiercely, claiming the blonde's mouth with her own. Her tongue reached deep inside Alex's mouth seeking out warmth and desire.

Alex pulled her body in closer to Liv's as she held on tight to Olivia's face with her hands, and kissing her back just as eagerly.

Olivia's lips trailed down Alex's neck and down between her clavicle, sucking tenderly on the bone before moving lower. Alex threw her head back loving the sensations, loving the feel of Olivia's lips on her body. Olivia wrapped one hand back around Alex's back while the other held her breast. Liv's mouth kissed all the way around it before taking it fully in her mouth and sucking on Alex's breast, and biting her nipple. Alex's gasped as a pain mixed with desire shot through her body. Olivia continued her affections on Alex's other breast.

Alex's hips began to rock in Olivia's lap as Olivia continued sucking on her breasts. Her head fell slightly as she whispered into Olivia's ear, "Don't make me wait baby."

Olivia heard the need mixed with utter exhaustion laced in her voice, and as much as she enjoyed teasing Alex, she didn't want to tonight. Tonight was about Alex, about holding her, touching her, loving her, and being near her, because without her Olivia was but a log drifting out to sea.

Liv brought her mouth back up to Alex's neck and kissed the pulse point she felt there as her hand moved lower. Her hand drifted Over Alex's hips and then inside to her lower stomach and then finding their way further south and feeling Alex's center fully alive and wet, craving her touch.

Alex moaned as Olivia entered her, using her fingers to thrust up deep inside her. Alex's head fell to her arm which rested on Olivia's shoulders. She moved her hips with Liv's fingers, feeling them rub against her walls, feeling Olivia hit just the right spot as she curled her fingers. And suddenly everything that happened that day came in a rush over her. The anxiety over the case creeping up on her again, the fear of a riot, having been handcuffed and gagged before having to jump off a forty story bridge, a near drowning, and now here with Olivia, feeling her touch so intimate was all too much. She couldn't keep her tears from coming in a flood.

Olivia stopped, concerned, but Alex grabbed Liv's hand with her free on and kept her moving. "Don't stop Liv," Alex whispered in-between breaths and tears.

Liv continued her thrusts, letting Alex rest into her fingers as she sobbed and moaned on her shoulder. She thrusted deeper as she began to watch Alex unravel completely. Olivia's fingers found Alex's g spot and she rubbed against it again and again making Alex moan and whimper in a way Olivia had never heard her before. Liv knew Alex's body was close as she pulled her fingers out and rubbed against her clit.

Alex's breath hitched as she felt Olivia's touch and her legs opened wider. She buried her head into Olivia's neck as her cries came out shallow and needy. Her body began to quiver and her tears stopped and all she focused on was the way Olivia made her feel right then, and on the way Alex knew Olivia would always make her feel safe, known, and loved. Every other problem she faced drifted away and nothing really truly mattered to her anymore except for the woman sitting beneath her. Alex cried out Olivia's name as her body shuddered and tensed and then quivered with release before she fell, completely drained into Olivia's arms entirely.

Olivia wrapped her into her embrace tightly and kissed her shoulder and neck as her breath began to regulate. Liv loved this woman completely and she knew that Alex had given herself to Liv fully. Olivia helped Alex reposition on her lap and then she scooped her up in her arms and walked over to their bed. She laid Alex down under the covers and then Liv stripped off her own clothing and crawled in next to Alex, curling into her side and draping her arm over Alex's body.

"I saw her today," Alex whispered almost inaudibly.

"Who did you see?" Olivia asked.

Alex's eyes rested softly open as she spoke to Olivia behind her. "I saw Habika, the girl from the Congo."

Olivia pulled Alex in tighter, closer to her body needing to feel her, needing to know she was still there and hadn't left her after all. "What did she say?"

"She said, win or lose, you've changed everything for the better." Alex turned to face Olivia and looked her in the eyes, "Then she told me it wasn't my time because I still have two people that need me, and that I should never let them go."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and brushed the hair back off Alex's face. "Never," she whispered, "I'll never let you go."


End file.
